My oldest child, Cameron, who is now 21 years old, was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) when he was in 5th grade. He is graduating next semester with a four-year college degree and an intention to proceed to graduate school. Any parent with a child on the “Autistic Spectrum” will recognize the journey that we took to get to that diagnosis and to this place. I am writing this blog to help others out there who are teachers, caregivers, family members, friends, and/or healthcare providers of these very special kids. I say special not in a sense of somehow handicapped, but special as in unique and with something to offer the world that comes through a lens of rigorous authenticity. People with AS are known for their unrelenting honesty and inability to tell even the whitest of lies to please another. What a wonderful gift for society to receive; members who have integrity that is so deeply ingrained that it is actually almost impossible to lie.
The reason I had my child evaluated was because of a parent teacher conference gone bad. Cameron’s 5th grade teacher felt I was too “enmeshed” with him and was milking the system for the individualized educational plan (IEP) he had in place. She felt that he would function just fine without my “interference”. His IEP stipulated he was to have someone sit next to him at the front of the room that didn’t fidget or interrupt in class. That particular 5th grade class was full of boys who had been diagnosed with Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Cameron was falling through the cracks. There had never been such a distorted ratio of boys with ADHD and so few girls in this elementary school before and the teachers were at their wits’ end trying to teach them and maintain order. Kids with AS frequently sit in class and daydream of their latest passionate interest and can get lost in the river of education as a result. I had asked for one of the quiet, steady girls to sit next to him so he wouldn’t get distracted and come home not knowing what was discussed in class.
When the teacher told me I was the problem, I thought to myself, “maybe she’s right, maybe Cameron and I should both be tested and see what is going on. Let’s face it, I AM stressed that my son doesn’t pay attention in class, is distracted on the soccer field by an ant hill, hums quietly to himself at the dinner table, and doesn’t get invited to birthday parties. Maybe reading about birds of prey, building mobiles of birds of prey, going to the Museum of Natural History in Salt Lake City for the birds of prey exhibit EVERY WEEK, making masks that represent birds of prey, doing a hawk on his birthday cake, and generally immersing myself into the world of birds of prey with Cameron is a big mistake. (Birds of prey were his current passion and he could tell you EVERYTHING about the subtlest feature of each of the birds of prey in the wild you could possibly want…and much, much, more).
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Any questions, please drop me a line.
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Sincerely,
Andrew Lopez, RN
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