Nursefriendly.com: Parenting Adult Children

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Caring For Elderly Parents: Top 10 Concerns | cdaamerica

Posted on February 15, 2011 by cdaamerica| Leave a comment

By AgingCare.com

Parents care for their children, to strengthen body and mind, and
nurture them forward to independence. Siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and even friends and neighbors often join in the family circle, helping to care for the kids. Such is what caregiving is all about, a nurturing,
supportive commitment by family and extended family members. Many of us have the opportunity to return that same level of commitment and support to Mom, Dad or both as they age.

It is time to return the favor, not just individually, but as a family, to
provide support where necessary and preserve your parents’ ability and
independence as long as possible. What are the 10 most important family concerns in caregiving for a parent? Consider:

1. Rally the Troops

Deborah Halpern, Communications Director for the non-profit National Family Caregiver’s Association, urges that caregiving your parent is not a one-person job or burden. Instead, you should have a family team that includes friends and neighbors, each with a role and responsibility in the caregiving process. There must be a ringleader, according to Halpern, who contacts each family member with the invitation or challenge to”step up to the plate and help.”

Consider the team concept as akin to hiring for different jobs in a company.
Everyone is good at something, while he or she may be inept or less than
qualified in another task or field. When several family members are involved,
even for just a few hours each week, the burden on the primary caregiver is
reduced significantly. Sharing responsibilities also brings more family members
into active contact, sharing, support, monitoring, understanding and visiting
with Mom or Dad.

via cdaamerica.wordpress.com

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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Parenting, Part II: Weight is heavy topic to discuss with grown children - USATODAY.com

Kim Painter has written about health and wellness for USA TODAY since 1987. She is the mother of two teen boys.

Daphne Oz puts it bluntly: " 'You've gotten fat' is a pretty hard thing to hear from a parent." But it is something that, in one form or another, many young adults do hear from their parents, says the author of The Dorm Room Diet.

And weight is something many parents desperately want to discuss with their grown children, says Ruth Nemzoff, a resident scholar at Brandeis Women's Studies Research Center in Waltham, Mass. She writes and speaks on relationships between parents and grown children and says that weight is a hot topic among parents in her audiences.

"I hear this constantly," she says. "They'll say, 'My daughter is really bright. She's got a Ph.D., but she's really fat. What can I do? Can I say anything?' "

At this time of year, when so many people think of weight loss, the temptation to speak up may be especially strong. And if you happen to be at the end of a winter break with a college student who gained the dreaded freshman 15 (or, more likely, 5 or 8 pounds), this may seem like a perfect time to talk weight.

But think before you speak. And consider saying nothing at all.

That's the advice of Jane Isay, author of two books on family relationships, including Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents. "Our kids know what we are thinking before we say it," she says. "The idea that they are not aware that you are worried about their weight is nuts."

And, she says, "every overweight person has a mirror and knows what she looks like." She asks parents to consider their power: "Any criticism from a parent is heard through a megaphone."

via usatoday.com

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