Monday, November 8, 2010

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

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Christmas is for everyone....

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

DEPRESSION:
Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Queens Disoriented Are

NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,............(better start again)

PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear?

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See also: Mental Health Articles, Mental Health Law, Mental Health, Psychiatric Associations, Direct Psychiatric Patient Care, Psychiatric Nurses

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Psychiatric Chiropractor

Q: Did you hear one about the Psychiatric Chiropractor?

A: He specializes in attitude adjustments!

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After years with a psychiatrist, a man who thought he was a dog was declared cured.

A friend asked him how he felt now. The former patient replied, "Fine! Just feel my nose."

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Are You Insane? Psychiatric Jokes, Mental Health Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insane

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Concerned Mother, Psychiatric Jokes, Prescription Drug Humor:"The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/concerned

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Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/advice

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Hung Up To Dry, Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dry

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Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions

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Psychiatric Hotline, Mental Health Humor, Psychiatric Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hotline

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Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark

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Freudian Slip:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/94q4/smallprick.html

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Med-Psych Network, Medical Jokes and Cartoons:""One of the internet's largest collections of medical jokes and cartoons, sorted by medical speciality."
http://www.med-psych.net/links/Medical_Humor-Jokes_and_Cartoons/

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PsYcHo NuRsE's Padded Room:"I'm Psycho Nurse. Have you ever entertained nurse fantasies that involved buxom beauties passing out the latest pain killers, enemas, or sponge baths? That's precisely why I've gone psycho! I'm so tired of all the nursing stereotypes that most of you unimaginative perverts come up with. I've been a Med/Surg/Oncology Nurse for the past 15 years (and am now working in the ICU), and I've seen too much death and suffering to cater to your lame sexual fantasies. If you're expecting me to be nice to you just because you're a flirt or because you think you're the best lover in the world, you can just take a nice long gulp out of this bedpan."
http://www.zianet.com/madrids/psychonurse.html

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Psychobabble Glossary: Learn the true meaning of the words and phrases your mental health professionals use to mislead and confuse you.:"New definitions are being received and verified as you read this. To submit a definition for possible publication on these pages, use our on-line contact form. We do not give by-name credit for the definitions we receive, publication of the definition itself is considered adequate reward. You don't get any more than that from your boss, why should you get it from us? There is no express or implied guarantee that submitted definitions will be published at the site."
http://www.drleons.com/babble.htm

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Sanity Test:"Have you ever... 1. tried to shoot a rubber band at someone only to end up shooting yourself? 2. stared at a rotating ceiling fan to see if you can follow one of the blades?"
http://glazeddoughnut.us/sanity/index.php

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Save Your Sanity In Half An Hour:"OK, so the CIA is investigating that mountain of dirty laundry in your bathroom to see if Osama bin Laden is hiding under it. You've forgotten what your family looks like. And you've discovered that your med-surg textbook makes a pretty comfy pillow."
http://members.tripod.com/~studentnurse/sanity.html

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Psychiatric (Mental Health) Clinical Nursing Case Studies:
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com

October 15, 2000: Physician Restraint Orders Unclear On Transfer, Do You Apply In The Interim?
Summary: The use of Mechanical or Physical Restraints on confused patients is highly controversial. Due to substantial Death & Injury attributed to their use they are considered a last resort measure in providing for the safety of a patient. In this case, orders specifying what restraints and when they were to be used were unclear. In a patient that was clearly at high risk for injury, should they have been applied till the physician could have been contacted?
Tousignant v. St. Louis County, 602 N.W.2d 882 - MN (1999)

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Psychiatric Nurse "Misses" Festering Wound Infection? Is She Held To The Same Standard?:"Registered Nurses in their training cover each of the accepted areas that a new graduate might be expected to work in. Once in the field, it is expected that additional and specific training to a Department or Specialty will be obtained. In this case, the Psychiatric nurses did not pick up on a festering infection in a patient that had tried to commit suicide. Was the fact that they were Psychiatric nurses a valid excuse?"
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/clinical.cases/101799.htm

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http://nursingdiscussions.com

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Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Wednesday, September 29, 2010


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