Nursefriendly.com: bedside nursing jokes

Showing posts with label bedside nursing jokes. Show all posts

Monday, June 20, 2011

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor

10. I love to wear white support hose.
9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors.
8. It's more challenging than brain surgery.
7. I get free latex gloves.
6. The scrubs are so flattering to my figure.
5. The world doesn't need any more lawyers.
4. I actually like vending machine food.
3. Somebody has to train the residents.
2. I get to spend the holidays with my friends... at work.
1. I always wanted to say, "This won't hurt a bit."
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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Laughter/Smile links on: The Nurse Friendly

About Doug Fletcher, RN and The Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Click Here For Our Newest Jokes

Find Funny Nursing (Bedside Nursing, Medical, more like this . .) Jokes & Humor By Category

Animals
Therapeutic Humor Associations
Attorney & Lawyer, Legal Jokes, Law Humor
Bar
Battle of the Sexes
Bill Clinton Humor, Presidential Jokes
Bedside Nursing Humor
Blonde Jokes, Blond Humor
Brain Teasers
Cartoons and Comics (Nursing & Medical)
Changing A Light Bulb Jokes
Charge Nurse Jokes
Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links
Dental Humor
Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor
Divorce Jokes, Ending A Marriage Humor
Emergency Department Jokes, ER Humor
Gallows Humor
General Nursing Humor
Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, Nursing Home Humor
Greeting Cards
Growing Old Jokes
Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) or Managed Care Humor
Inspiration
Joke Mailing Lists
Labor and Delivery, Obstetrics
Law Enforcement Humor, Police Jokes
Lawyer, Attorney & Legal Jokes, Law Humor
Legal Jokes, Attorney & Lawyer, Law Humor
Living With A Nurse, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
Marriage, Matrimony, Wedding
Medical Humor
Medical Terminology
Merry Christmas, X-mas Jokes
Nursing Cartoons and Comics
Nursing Humor Entrepreneurs
Operating Room Humor
Parenting Humor, Jokes About Parents And Children
Pets, Veterinarians
Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes
Psychiatric
Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven
RN, Nurse Jokes, Nursing Humor
School Nursing Jokes, Nursing Student Humor
Speakers Bureaus
Top Ten Reasons Jokes & Humor
Veterinarian Jokes, Pet Humor
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes
You Might Be A . . . . If"

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Amazon.com Titles:
Best of Nursing Humor: A Collection of Articles, Essays, and Poetry Published in the Nursing Literature by Colleen Kenefick, Amy Y. Young, Amazon.com:"As a student nurse I found this book hysterical!!! The student nursing short stories were so easy to relate to. Finally I realize I am not alone, there are more psycho instructors out there marking papers as if they were Zorro using a red pen, and it is not just our facility that "treats report as if it were classified information, and we don't have proper clearance." A must get for the nurse in your life, or for yourself for humor you can relate to."
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1560530626
I Always Faint When I See a Syringe: Nurse Student Tales by Florence Hardesty (R.N.), Amazon.com:"A former nursing professor writes about her students with affection and humor. She introduces the reader to her favorite patients, the ones whose struggles with mental illness, inspired and illustrated her lectures for a quarter of a century. Hardesty's own experience as a mature returning student should encourage those who seek furthur education."
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0963176919/
Nurstoons the Art of Nursing: A Collection of Nursing Cartoons by Carl Elbing Jr., Amazon.com:"Witty and often-outrageous cartoons depicting professional nursing issues with the humor only a nurse can provide. From the Foreword: Learned theorists say that Nursing is both a science and an art. It is a science because of words like microgram and oophorectomy (trust me, that's how you spell it). It is an art because, well, it takes a lot of creativity to pass out all 0900 meds at 0900 (and a bit of time traveling too). Only a Nurse is professionally prepared to wipe bottoms and differentiate v-tach from SVT. Only a Nurse performs services, many of them lifesaving, which get billed as a room charge. Only a Nurse."
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1929693133/
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Our Favorites:
Is This It? Women & Religious Jokes & Humor
Breastfeeding Technical Support, Medical Jokes, Obstetrics Humor
Deathbed Confession, Gallows Humor
Managed Care Finds Cure for Diabetes; Endocrinologists Take the Plunge
Are You a Graduate Nurse or an Experienced Nurse?
A Dictionary of Dating
Battle of the Sexes
Screening Medical Students
Translating Men, What They Say & What They Really Mean
A Cure For One Man's Stuttering
Ways To Cope With Stress
My Elbow Hurts!
Lawyer's Q & A:
A Question of Trust, Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor
Why Men Can't Win, Battle of The Sexes, Jokes & Humor
Battle of the Sexes
Smoking After Sex, Battle of The Sexes, Battle of the Sexes
Nice Place, Huh? Nursing Home, Geriatrics
Top Signs That You Are Growing Old
RXLAUGHS: Any Side Effects? (For Those of You Considering Xenical)
Following Doctor's Orders, Nursing & Medical Jokes
Living With A Nurse, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor on: The Nursefriendly
Rectal Foreign Bodies: True Tales and X-rays of foreign objects encountered in Emergency Departments Worldwide.
School Nursing, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor on: The Nursefriendly: The Circumcision
The Second Opinion
Two Gifts For Adam & Eve, Battle of The Sexes
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Please Choose from the following:

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Animal Jokes: Dogs, Cats, Elephant, Frog Chickens, Insect World, Other Animals...
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Bar Jokes: Bartenders, Drunks, Walks into a Bar... More...
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Battle of the Sexes: A Dictionary of Dating, Translating Men, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Why Men Can't Win, More Like This. . . .
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Bedside Nursing Humor: Freudian Slip, Graduate Nurse vs. Experienced Nurses, Urine Testing, More Like This. . .
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Brain Teasers: Can You Read This (Doctor's Order), More Like This. . .
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Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links: Just Clowning Around, Nola Nurse and Dr. I. Fixem, More Like This. . .
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Dental Humor: A Dentist's Bedtime Story, Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?, When Knights Were Bold, More Like This. . .
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Emergency Department Humor: The Candle And The Penis...., Scrotum Self-Repair, More Like This. . . ******************************************************

General Nursing Humor: More Like This. . . ******************************************************

Gender Jokes : Courting, Marriage, Men and Women, In-Laws, One-Liners, More...
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General Jokes: Book Titles, Food, Geriatric, Holidays, Bumper Stickers, Tom Swifties, Moral of the Story, Light Bulbs, More...
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Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, Nursing Home Humor: Nursing Home Humor, Old Men, Senior Citizens, Tough Rules More Like This. . .
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Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) or Managed Care Humor: A Cost Saving Memo, Three Doctors Die And Go To Heaven, Managed Care Finds Cure for Diabetes; Endocrinologists Take the Plunge, More Like This. . .
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Healthcare Jokes: Doctors, Nurses, Pregnancy, Death, More...
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Kid's Jokes: Knock-knock, Animals, Excuse notes, and More...
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Lists Jokes: Top Ten, Lists, Things Not to Say
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Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor: The Top 10 Indications Your Family May Be Dysfunctional, More like this. . .
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Obnoxious Jokes: Comebacks, Insults and Sarcasm
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Political Jokes: Government, Military, Politicians, More...
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Politically Incorrect Jokes: Blonde Jokes: One-Liners, Shorties ; Redneck Jokes: One-Liners, Shorties
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Professions Jokes: Accountants, Doctors, Lawyers, Nurse, Farmers, Waiters, More...
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Religion Jokes: Priests, Nuns, Heaven, God and Jesus, More...
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School Jokes: College, Teachers, Students, More...
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Sports Jokes: Fishing, Football, Golf, Hunting, Wrestling, More...
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Words of Wisdom Jokes: Bathroom Wisdom, Thoughts to Ponder, Confucius Say....., More...
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Work Place Jokes: Office Humor, Computers, More...
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You Might Be A . . . . . If: You Might Be A Nurse If. . . ., You Might Be A Nurse Midwife If... , More like this. . . .
Rules of The Pit Nursing Humor, Medical Jokes & Humor
The Physician's Mistress, Doctor/Medical Jokes & Humor
The Spinster's Will
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand
HMO Physician Recruitment Pre-Qualification Form
Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean
Why We Appreciate Men, A Woman's Perspective
Speeding, Law Enforcement, Police Jokes
A Cost Saving Memo, Managed Care (HMOs) Jokes & Humor:
Are You Hungry, Intravenous Therapy, IV Jokes & Humor:
Three Nurses Die and Go To Heaven
A Short History of Medicine
The Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road (Commentary from Clinton to Captain Kirk)
The Top Ten Reasons Jokes
Comedy Central, Seinfeld and more!,

DoctorJokes.net! The funniest doctor jokes around because medical humor is pretty darn funny. Suscribe to our mailing list to recieve updates from doctorjokes.net!"
LLC, Genation
P.O Box 1152 Evans, GA 30809 US
404-822-8195, support@doctorjokes.net
http://www.doctorjokes.net/
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Fun Sites for Nurses:"We have setup this site to help nurses find information, web links and to have a place for a little enjoyment. We value your input, so please sign our guest book, add a joke, register for our contests, suggest a website link and mention our site to your co-workers. Also please visit our sponsors websites by clicking on their banners. We hope you enjoy and find this website useful."
http://www.nursingfun.com/

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Monday, April 4, 2011

10 humorous reasons I knew I was a nurse, Scrubsmag.com

The day you start nursing school your life changed permanently. There is the life ‘before nursing’ and then life as a nurse. Two very different worlds.
Here are some of the ways I knew my life had changed when I became a nurse.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Nurse cartoons -- lost in translation, Scrubsmag.com

Life as a nurse is sometimes funny. And sometimes it’s so UNfunny that you REALLY REALLY need something funny. So, do you need a laugh? We think the RX is nurse cartoons – the perfect way to poke fun at the lighter side of nursing (yes, there is one!)!

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Monday, March 21, 2011

The Top Ten Reasons . . Jokes and Nursing Humor on: The Nursefriendly

New!
Top 10 Qualities of a Great Nurse, NursingLink.com:"Nurses are pretty amazing. Great nurses aren't just compassionate and kind — they have all the medical smarts of a doctor too! Plus, a career as a nurse offers a sense of personal satisfaction that you just can't beat."
http://nursinglink.monster.com/careers/articles/5019-top-10-qualities-of-a-great-nurse?utm_source=nlet&utm_content=nl_c1_20100525_greatnurse#
Categories:
Advanced Practice Nurses (APNs), http://www.4nursing.com/apn
Licensed Practical Nurses (LPNs), Licensed Vocational Nurses (LVNs), http://www.nursefriendly.com/lpn
Male Nurses, Men In Nursing, http://www.nursefriendly.com/male/
Nursing Profession, About The, http://www.nursefriendly.com/profession
Registered Nurses (RNs)http://www.nursefriendly.com/rn/
Traits & Qualities That Make Nurses Excellent Entrepreneurs, http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com/qualities
Traveling Nurses, Travel Nursing Agencies, http://www.4travelnursing.com
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To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
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Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."
9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases
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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went
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Top Ten Dog Pet Peeves With Humans, Pet Jokes, Animal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humans
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Top Ten Lies Told by Paramedics, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Its not my fault, he kept moving. 2. This might stick a little."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lies
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Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/created
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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into
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Top Ten Reasons To Date A Nurse! Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"White scrubs are see through. We asses all areas of the body. Scrubs make for easy access."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/date
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Top Ten Signs of A Bad Hangover, Top Ten Jokes, Drinking/Bar Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hangover
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Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/need
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Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining
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Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say, Parenting Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/say
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Top Ten Subtle Differences Between Nursing School and Hell, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/differences
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Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend
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Top Ten Signs Your Family Might Be Dysfunctional:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dysfunctional
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Top Ten Signs That You Might Be A Frustrated Mom:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/frustrated
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Top Ten Reasons For Becoming An Anesthesiologist, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/anesthesiologist
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Top Ten Signs You May Be Working For The Wrong Dentist, Top Ten Jokes, Dental Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dentist
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Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pms
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Top Signs That You Are Broke, Top Ten Jokes, Signs of The Times Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/broke
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Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst
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Top Ten Ways To Tell You're A New Dad, Top Ten Jokes, Parenting Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dad
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Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse
http://www.nursinghumor.com/nurse
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Top Ten Worst Prognostic Signs For A Patient In The Emergency Department
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prognostic
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Top Ten Signs of Burn-Out
http://www.nursinghumor.com/burnout/
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Top 10 Things Only Women Understand, Top Ten Jokes & Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/understand
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Top Ten Fatal Things to say when your wife is pregnant, Labor & Delivery Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fatal
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The 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/daughter
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Created on August 5, 1999

Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Monday, January 25, 2010

This Page is Part of The Nursefriendly National Nursing A To Z & Consumer Health Directories
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This website Is © Copyright 1997 - 2010, Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly, Inc. Please contact us for permission to reproduce.

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

6 Things Male Nurses Should Know to Survive - Nursing Link

How does a man survive in a woman’s world? Here are some down-and-dirty survival tips that every ‘male nurse’ needs to know in order to survive in the wilderness of women.

Learn the ways of the Venutians

Men are truly from Mars, and yes Women are from Venus. We live on two different worlds, but we do occupy the same solar system. We speak different languages (spoken and bodily language). Social habits are on opposite ends of the pole. And we of course can’t agree on much other than the fact we are different. But, I guarantee you can all find commonality -which is being a nurse.

Never, ever, ever under any circumstances be that ‘typical’ man

OK guys. We have all heard the stereotype stories. Learn to not be THAT guy while at work. Even if you are, or can be, don’t be that guy at work of all places. If you’re not sure look around you? Are you always left high and dry? Little to no teamwork from the team? Always eating your meals alone? (hmm.. You might need to re-evaluate). If all else fails, simply ask a Venutian, they love to tell it like it is.

Learn to love the color pink (oh.. and candles too)

I’m not sure why, it just is. Never question, just assimilate – it’s safer that way.

Emotions are not what they seem

Crying is a form of trickery. Just because someone smiles and laughs at your jokes, does not mean they like you. When you hear them whispering, be sure to never look them in the eye. On the playground, guys will punch you in the face if they don’t like you, or have a dispute. After the punch, and the dust settles respect is exchanged and then call it even. In the wilderness women will find a way to extend their torture and mayhem over months at a time, redirecting their havoc to everything that affects you and then never fully admit their angst. Be careful, be very careful.

Being invisible is a good thing

Hypothetically speaking of course. When you become invisible, you are no longer viewed as the ‘male nurse’ or the ‘guy’ they work with. Now you’re just a fellow co-worker, or colleague. Camouflage is your best defense.

Always put the toilet seat down!

In most cases you are usually one of the few men working that shift, so when the seat is left up, the blame game gets REAL easy. Oh yeah, and if you fail to even move the seat during your ‘visit’, you better leave things in the same condition you found them. (Do I really need to explain the dribble effect??) Don’t ever let an angry wet-bottomed women corner you – you will not survive.

Disclaimer: Yes, once again this is all in fun. Anyone who is a ‘male nurse’ or works with them can take some humor from this post. In the end we are all part of the same awesome team. Gender is never an issue, until you make it an issue. All in fun…

Next: The Role of Men in Nursing Today >>

More on ScrubsMag.com:

• In Myths & Misconceptions: Male Nurse Introductory Course 101
• In Mind & Mood: Gift Ideas for the Nurse
• In Nursing Blog: The Safest and Healthiest Ways to Vent at Work

Related Reads:

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Saturday, February 26, 2011

10 ways you know there's a male nurse on the unit, Scrubsmag.com

So, how can you tell when there’s a male nurse in the house?
10. The Hoyer lift is thought of as the backup option.
9. Someone at the nurses’ station isn’t wearing a print top.
8. You no longer call Dr. Strong at the first sign of need.
7. You find yourself with a box of gigantic gloves and wonder where the smaller ones went.
6. Conversations based on sports have somehow infiltrated the unit.
5. Somebody left a burger and fries on the table, where you struggle to convince yourself a salad is fulfilling.
4. Patient assignments are frequently changed after you have taken report and made your first round.
3. A patient keeps calling your co-worker “Doctor” regardless of how many times she is corrected.
2. This complaint becomes familiar: “There are no XL gloves here and they were ordered just for me.”
1. Someone left the toilet seat up in the nurses’ lounge restroom.
This list, by Jeffrey Bodurka, RN

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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Nurses’ funny hospital chart bloopers, ScrubsMag.com

Back by popular demand! We’ve been running some articles featuring charting disasters (goofy chart bloopers and crazy chart bloopers) lately and must admit…some seemed too wild to be true.

So then we asked our readers: Do you have any good ones to share?

Well, these all-new funny hospital chart bloopers were submitted by you, so they must be real!

1. “A 24-year-old woman oriented to person, space and time.”
—submitted by Liz R.

2. “Pt alive but hope to remedy situation by AM.”
—submitted by Michelle Steinbach, RN, critical care nurse for 14 years

3. “Alert and organized x3”
—submitted by Evelyn Kathleen

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Sunday, November 28, 2010

You know you’re a CNA when…

How do you know you’re a CNA?

See if you recognize yourself in the following tongue-in-cheek list, compiled by a former CNA who’s been there, done that.

1. You never leave home without your back brace and gait belt.
2. You change more linens than a hotel maid.
3. You have at least 20 sets of adoptive grandparents.
4. You keep up with the number of BMs your family has.
5. The beds in your home are made with “hospital corners.”
6. You can easily feed three or more people at one time.
7. You don’t get grossed out by what you find in adult briefs.
8. You can find 101+ uses for towels, sheets and pillowcases.
9. When your spouse holds your hand, you catch yourself doing range-of-motion exercises.
10. You tell your spouse that he/she is facing the wrong way at the wrong time in bed.

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Monday, June 20, 2011

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor

10. I love to wear white support hose.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Laughter/Smile links on: The Nurse Friendly

Monday, April 4, 2011

10 humorous reasons I knew I was a nurse, Scrubsmag.com

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Nurse cartoons -- lost in translation, Scrubsmag.com

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Top Ten Reasons . . Jokes and Nursing Humor on: The Nursefriendly

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

6 Things Male Nurses Should Know to Survive - Nursing Link

Next: The Role of Men in Nursing Today >>

More on ScrubsMag.com:

Saturday, February 26, 2011

10 ways you know there's a male nurse on the unit, Scrubsmag.com

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Nurses’ funny hospital chart bloopers, ScrubsMag.com

Sunday, November 28, 2010

You know you’re a CNA when…

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