Showing posts with label nurse jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nurse jokes. Show all posts

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Nurses Daily Dose - Daily Dose of Hospital Humor

Nurses Daily Dose - Daily Dose of Hospital Humor:"I had a 97-year-old terminally ill patient. I walked into his room for an assessment and asked him "how do you feel?" Without even a pause, he said "with my hands, what about you?"
http://www.nursesdailydose.com/



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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, Facebook/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Top 10 Reasons to Become a Nurse, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

******************************************************
Top 10 Reasons to Become a Nurse, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/nurse
******************************************************

Pays better than McDonald's (though the hours aren't as good.)

Fashionable shoes and sexy uniforms.

Needles: 'tis better to give than to receive.

Confidence in reassuring patients that all bleeding stops ... eventually.

Opportunity to expose yourself to rare, exotic, and exciting new diseases.

Interesting aromas.

Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly clear handwriting.

Enough charting to navigate around the world.

Celebration of holidays with all your friends ... at work.

Comfort in the knowledge that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

******************************************************
******************************************************
Five Minutes

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

******************************************************

Peek-A-Boo

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)

******************************************************

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

******************************************************

A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

******************************************************

A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick

******************************************************

How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

******************************************************

Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

******************************************************

Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/

******************************************************

Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

******************************************************

HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues

******************************************************

New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password

******************************************************

Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance

******************************************************

Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html

******************************************************

Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html

******************************************************

Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html

******************************************************

Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."

9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend

******************************************************

Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm

******************************************************

The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

******************************************************

Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst

******************************************************

Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

******************************************************

The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion

******************************************************

Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/nurse

******************************************************

How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm

******************************************************

Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

******************************************************

The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm

******************************************************

Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm

******************************************************

Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine

******************************************************

******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

******************************************************
Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell
******************************************************

A doctor dies and goes to hell.

The devil greets him and tells him that since he was doctor, and did some good that he could choose his eternity.

The devil opens the first door, there are doctors hanging from their ankles being whipped by demons.

"Oh my God, I don't want that", the doctor replies.

The devil opens a second door to reveal doctors on fire being chased by huge beasts.

"That one is even worse!" says the doctor, getting more nervous.

The devil opens a third door to reveal doctors in lounge chairs being served tropical drinks by gorgeous, scantily clad nurses.

"Sign me up for that eternity!" the doctor states.

The devil then slams that door and says, "You can't go there, you weren't supposed to see that."

The doctor states why can't I go there?

The devil replies, "Well.... that's nurse hell."

******************************************************
******************************************************
******************************************************

Five Minutes

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

******************************************************

Peek-A-Boo

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)

******************************************************

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

******************************************************

A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

******************************************************

A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick

******************************************************

How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

******************************************************

Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

******************************************************

Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/

******************************************************

Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

******************************************************

HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues

******************************************************

New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password

******************************************************

Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance

******************************************************

Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html

******************************************************

Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html

******************************************************

Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html

******************************************************

Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."

9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend

******************************************************

Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm

******************************************************

The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

******************************************************

Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst

******************************************************

Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

******************************************************

The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion

******************************************************

Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell

******************************************************

How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm

******************************************************

Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

******************************************************

The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm

******************************************************

Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm

******************************************************

Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine

******************************************************

******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor

Nursing & Healthcare Directories on: The Nursefriendly
Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor,
Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing

The Shortcut URL To This Section Is: http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

******************************************************

10. I love to wear white support hose.

9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors.

8. It's more challenging than brain surgery.

7. I get free latex gloves.

6. The scrubs are so flattering to my figure.

5. The world doesn't need any more lawyers.

4. I actually like vending machine food.

3. Somebody has to train the residents.

2. I get to spend the holidays with my friends... at work.

1. I always wanted to say, "This won't hurt a bit."

******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Monday, January 7, 2008

Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

******************************************************
Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed
******************************************************

A man was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories.

A week later the man complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.

"Have you been taking them regularly?" The doctor asked.

"What do you think I've been doing," the man said, "Shoving them up my butt?"

******************************************************
******************************************************
******************************************************

Five Minutes

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

******************************************************

Peek-A-Boo

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)

******************************************************

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

******************************************************

A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

******************************************************

A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick

******************************************************

How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

******************************************************

Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

******************************************************

Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/

******************************************************

Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

******************************************************

HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues

******************************************************

New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password

******************************************************

Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance

******************************************************

Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html

******************************************************

Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html

******************************************************

Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html

******************************************************

Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."

9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend

******************************************************

Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm

******************************************************

The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

******************************************************

Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst

******************************************************

Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

******************************************************

The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion

******************************************************

Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell

******************************************************

How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm

******************************************************

Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

******************************************************

The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm

******************************************************

Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm

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Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Sunday, December 2, 2007

A Doctor & Nurse and a Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

 

Download and enjoy all our jokes! Visit

http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

 

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A Doctor & Nurse and a Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor

http://www.nursinghumor.com/shredder

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A nurse was leaving the hospital one evening when she found the doctor standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

 

"Listen", said the doctor, "this is important and my assistant has left. Can you make this thing work?"

 

"Certainly", said the nurse, flattered that the doctor had asked her for help.

 

She turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

 

"Excellent! Excellent!" said the doctor as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

 

"I need two copies of that"

 

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More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

 

Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

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Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam

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Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/need

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Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/late

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The Circumcision, Medical Jokes, Kids Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/circumcision

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted

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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

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How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/how

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Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf

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She Didn't Make It, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/it

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New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary

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To subscribe to our:

 

Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:

Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.nursefriendly.com

 

Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.

Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.nursinghumor.com

 

Clinical Nursing Cases:

Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.nursingcasestudy.com

 

Inspirational Stories:

Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

 

Any questions, please drop me a line.  To chat, we are “Nursefriendly” on aol or 6116137 on ICQ.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Andrew Lopez, RN

Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.

38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051

http://www.nursefriendly.com  info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly

856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

 

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

 

http://www.4nursing.com

http://www.4nursingstudents.com

http://www.4travelnursing.com

http://www.jocularity.com

http://www.lopez1.com

http://www.nursinga2z.com

http://www.nursingdiscussions.com

http://www.nursinghumor.com

http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com

http://www.nursingexperts.com

 

Friday, August 24, 2007

Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

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Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/get
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A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest.

Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily.

Written in large black letters was the sentence:

"Get well quick, from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

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Peek-A-Boo

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)

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Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

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A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick

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How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/

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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

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HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues

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New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password

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Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance

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Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html

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Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html

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Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html

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Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."

9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases

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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into

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Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend

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Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm

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The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

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Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst

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Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

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The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion

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Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell

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How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm

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Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

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The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm

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Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm

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Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine

******************************************************

******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com