To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com******************************************************
A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"Oh, About One-sixty-five." he says.
The nurse puts him on the scale. It turns out that his weight is 187. The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"Oh, About six feet," he says.
The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5 feet 8 3/4 inches. She then takes his blood pressure, and it's very high.
"High!" The man explains, "Well, what did you expect? When I came in here, I was tall and lanky. Now, I'm short and fat!"
******************************************************Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
******************************************************
A man walks into a Doctors. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asked.
"You're not eating properly." replied the Doctor.
******************************************************
"Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, or at church I get lots of silent gas emissions. As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?"
"The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing"
******************************************************
A man goes to doctor and says:
'Doctor, I have a problem. When I drink tea, my eye aches(sp?) and when I stop, it stops too. Can you help me?'
Doctor says:'Take the spoon out of the cup!'
******************************************************
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands from shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it.
******************************************************
What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?
You can hide your own Easter eggs.
You are always meeting new people.
You never have to watch reruns on television.
************************************************************************************************************
You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if..., Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:"1) Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion. 2) Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you. 3) You think that caffeine should be available in IV form. 4) You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/erdoc******************************************************
New Arrival, Medical Jokes, Organ Transplant Humor:"A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/arrival******************************************************
Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going******************************************************
Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible******************************************************
Treating A Cold, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold. "Have you seen a doctor about that cold?" he asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/treating******************************************************
A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing******************************************************
Three Times A Week, Doctors Jokes, Marriage Humor:"
An elderly woman went to the doctor for a check up. After examining her and checking her cardiovascular activity, the doctor recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/three******************************************************
Excess Weight, Medical Jokes, Obesity Humor:"Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you're carrying around," the doctor asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weight******************************************************
Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants******************************************************
Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue******************************************************
The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size******************************************************
Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam******************************************************
Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/need******************************************************
Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed******************************************************
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols******************************************************
Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/late******************************************************
The Circumcision, Medical Jokes, Kids Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/circumcision******************************************************
Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play******************************************************
Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted******************************************************
Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/******************************************************
How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/how******************************************************
Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf******************************************************
She Didn't Make It, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/it******************************************************
New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary******************************************************
Auto Enthusiast, Surgeon Jokes, Medical Humor:"A 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/auto******************************************************
Blind Drunk, Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/drunk******************************************************
Stern Sibling, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Sibling Humor:"An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stern******************************************************
Last Words, Doctor Jokes, Priest Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/last******************************************************
Quick Diagnosis, Doctor Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/diagnosis******************************************************
Come Quick! Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/quick******************************************************
Taking Notes, Doctor Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/notes******************************************************
Fine Art, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/art******************************************************
Healthcare Dollars, Medical Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"In reviewing how our healthcare dollars are spent, the following statistics were revealed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dollars******************************************************
Medical Bloopers Found In Patient Charts, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/bloopers******************************************************
Skin Graft, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A married couple were in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/graft******************************************************
Big Words, Children's Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/words******************************************************
Small, Medium or Large? Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medium******************************************************
Bad News, Worse News, Medical Jokes, Geriatric Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/news******************************************************
A Future Physician, Medical Jokes, Parenting Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/future******************************************************
Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions******************************************************
Sun Burn Treatment, Medical Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/sun******************************************************
The Good News, The Bad News, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/good/******************************************************
Isolation Precautions, Infection Control Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/isolation******************************************************
Not Good Looking, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/looking******************************************************
Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/practical******************************************************
This Won't Hurt Much, Medical Jokes, Military Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/much******************************************************
Common Forms of Office Illness, On The Job Jokes, Medical Humor,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/illness******************************************************
Coffee and Viagra, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/viagra******************************************************
Rusty Tools, Viagra Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-viagra-marriage-rusty-tools.html******************************************************
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining******************************************************
Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark******************************************************
The Business Trip, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-medical-doctor-patient-jokes-business-trip.html******************************************************
Sex Therapy, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.sex.therapy.htm******************************************************
Post-Op Blues, Medical Jokes, Anesthesiology Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.post.op.blues.htm******************************************************
A Star In The East, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.a.star.in.the.east.htm******************************************************
The Forgetful Patient, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/the.forgetful.patient.htm******************************************************
Diving Right In, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/psychiatric.jokes.nursing.humor.diving.right.in.htm******************************************************
Doctor's Funeral, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.doctors.funeral.htm******************************************************
Buying Condoms, Pharmacy Jokes, Infidelity Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/condoms******************************************************
Odds & Ends, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.odds.and.ends.htm******************************************************
Heart Transplant, Organ Donation Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.heart.transplant.htm******************************************************
Passing Wind, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.passing.wind.htm******************************************************
Removing Patches, Medications Jokes, Pharmacy Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.removing.patches.htm******************************************************
Top Ten Reasons For Becoming An Anesthesiologist, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/anesthesiologist******************************************************
Screwed Up Laboratory Results, Medical Jokes, Laboratory Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screwed******************************************************
Taxonomy of Medical Professionals, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.taxonomy.of.medical.professionals.htm******************************************************
The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm******************************************************
Approving The New Hospital Policy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.approving.the.new.hospital.policy.htm******************************************************
Patient Confidentiality, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.patient.confidentiality.htm******************************************************
Five Benefits of Mothers Milk, Breastfeeding Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.five.benefits.of.mothers.milk.htm******************************************************
Arkansas Medical Definitions, Medical Terminology Jokes, Redneck Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/******************************************************
Anyone Need A Doctor? Medical Jokes, First Aid Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical******************************************************
A Cure For One Man's Cough, Medical Jokes, Drug & Pharmacy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/******************************************************
Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances******************************************************
Viagra Variations, Drug & Medications Jokes, Prescription Medicine Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/drugs.prescriptions.medications.medicines.viagra.variations.htm******************************************************
A Grandmother's Insomnia, Doctor's Jokes, Pregnancy & Medications Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insomnia******************************************************
Shooting Blanks, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.shooting.blanks.htm******************************************************
I Think My Wife Is Going Deaf, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.jokes.humor.my.wife.is.going.deaf.htm
******************************************************
A Doctor, A Nurse And A Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.jokes.humor.a.doctor.a.nurse.and.a.shredder.htm******************************************************
He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm******************************************************
Near Death Experience, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical/near.death.experiences.plastic.surgeries.htm******************************************************
The Aspirin And The Job Interview, Medical Jokes, On The Job Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.jokes.humor.the.aspirin.and.the.interview.htm******************************************************
A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work******************************************************
Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm******************************************************
Perfect Shape Considering Your Age, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.perfect.shape.considering.your.age.htm******************************************************
Six Months To Live, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical/six.months.to.live.htm******************************************************
It Hurts All Over, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://nursinghumor.com/hurts******************************************************
Actual Medical Quotes From Patient Charts, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical/actual.medical.quotes.from.charts.htm******************************************************
First Proctology Exam, Medical Humor, Doctors Jokes
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical/first.proctology.exam.htm******************************************************
A Short History Of Medicine, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/a.short.history.of.medicine.htm******************************************************
Anyone For Pasta, Medical Jokes, Marriage & Infidelity Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pasta******************************************************
Professional Courtesy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/professional.courtesy.htm******************************************************
The Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/the.difference.between.doctors.and.veteri...******************************************************
Dehydration, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/dehydration.htm******************************************************
Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm******************************************************
Breastfeeding Technical Support, Medical Jokes, Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/breastfeeding******************************************************
The Doctor's Visit, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/doctors******************************************************
Screening Medical Students
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screening******************************************************
A Cure For One Man's Stuttering:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical/a.cure.for.one.mans.stutte...******************************************************
My Elbow Hurts!
http://www.nursinghumor.com/elbow******************************************************
Five Doctors Go Duck Hunting
http://www.nursinghumor.com/duck******************************************************
Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/too******************************************************
Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/******************************************************
Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye******************************************************
******************************************************
DoctorFunnyWoman.com:"The DoctorFunnyWoman.com website is owned and operated by Ayodele Olugbemi,MD (pseudonym: Adele Obemi). A physician with specialist training in Family practice and Ob/Gyn, she has a special interest in women's and children's health. A member of the Royal College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists as well as the Royal College of General Practitioners (of the United Kingdom), she holds a Diploma in Child Health and a Diploma of the Faculty of Family Planning (UK) and is a Diplomate of the American Board of Family Practice."
doctorfunnywoman@hotmail.com
http://www.doctorfunnywoman.com******************************************************
GDU College of Medical Fraud:"GDU refuses to offer a degree in medicine out of concern that some cost-conscious hospital will hire someone with one of our diplomas, and let them perform surgery. However,GDU does offer programs in medically-related fields"
http://www.bandersnatch.com/med.htm******************************************************
Medical Humor:
http://www.swcbc.com/medical.html******************************************************
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For Health Information you can use, Follow, Connect, Like us on (Most Invites Accepted): http://www.nursefriendly.com/social/:
Twitter! http://www.nursefriendly.com/twitter
Blogger: http://4nursing.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://www.nursefriendly.com/facebook
Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/in/nursefriendly
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StumbleUpon, http://www.nursefriendly.com/stumbleupon
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Sunday, July 24, 2011
A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
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