Showing posts with label Nursinghumor.com. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nursinghumor.com. Show all posts

Saturday, February 26, 2011

10 ways you know there's a male nurse on the unit, Scrubsmag.com

So, how can you tell when there’s a male nurse in the house?

10. The Hoyer lift is thought of as the backup option.

9. Someone at the nurses’ station isn’t wearing a print top.

8. You no longer call Dr. Strong at the first sign of need.

7. You find yourself with a box of gigantic gloves and wonder where the smaller ones went.

6. Conversations based on sports have somehow infiltrated the unit.

5. Somebody left a burger and fries on the table, where you struggle to convince yourself a salad is fulfilling.

4. Patient assignments are frequently changed after you have taken report and made your first round.

3. A patient keeps calling your co-worker “Doctor” regardless of how many times she is corrected.

2. This complaint becomes familiar: “There are no XL gloves here and they were ordered just for me.”

1. Someone left the toilet seat up in the nurses’ lounge restroom.

This list, by Jeffrey Bodurka, RN

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.legalnursingconsultant.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Why Cats Are Better Than Men, Battles of The Sexes Jokes, Cat-Pet Humor, 4Nursing.com, Nursing & Healthcare Resources

A CAT always hits the litter box.

Better chance of training a CAT.

No matter what your CAT drags into your house, you don't have to pretend you like it.

You never have to spend time with your CAT's mother.

If you ask enough times, a CAT may actually listen to you.

A CAT purrs when you serve him dinner.

You can de-claw a CAT... try to get a guy to clip his toenails.

It's okay if a CAT rubs up against your best friend.

You don't have to worry about your CAT turning into a pig when you host a party.

A CAT knows you're the key to his happiness... a man thinks he is.

If a CAT jumps into your lap, a little light petting will satisfy him.

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25 Year Old Breasts, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-battle-of-the-sexes-25-year-old-breasts.html

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Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/created

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17 Ways To Be A WOMAN.... From A Somewhat Bitter Man, Battle of The Sexes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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The Perfect Man, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.a.divorced.perfect.man.htm

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Name Calling, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.name.calling.htm

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A Real Lady, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Infidelity Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lady

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A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/a.woman.thirty.years.younger.htm

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Mating Bulls, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.mating.bulls.htm

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Five Kinds of Sex, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.five.kinds.of.sex.htm

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Men Are Like . . ., Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.men.are.like.htm

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Following Orders, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/gallows.dark.following.orders.htm

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Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pms

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The Escapee, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.escapee.htm

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Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.why.pumpkins.are.better.than.men.htm

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The Blind Date, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes.the.blind.date.htm

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The New Girlfriend, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.new.girlfriend.htm

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Pros of Being A Woman, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.pros.of.being.a.woman.htm

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If You Love It, Set It Free, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.if.you.love.it.set.it.free.htm

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A Divorced Woman's Perfect Breakfast, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.a.divorced.womans.perfect.breakfast.htm

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How To Impress, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.how.to.impress.htm

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Great Female Comebacks, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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His and Her Road Trip, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle/

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Generation Gap, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Parenting Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.generation.gap.htm

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And You Wonder "Why" It Didn't Last, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.and.you.wonder.why.it.didnt.last.htm

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Because I'm A Guy, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.because.im.a.guy.htm

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The Gentleman On The Bus, Battle of The Sexes Jokes & Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/gentleman

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If Men Got Pregnant, Battle Of The Sexes Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pregnant

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A Man, His Wife, and The Cop, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/a.man.his.wife.and.a.cop.htm

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If Men Wrote The Rules, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes/if.men.wrote.the.rules.htm

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What Women Know About Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes/what.women.know.about.men.htm

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All Wives Are Alike, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes/all.wives.are.alike.htm

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A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/a.woman.thirty.years.younger.htm

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Radar, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/radar.htm

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Definitely Warm, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/definitely.warm.htm

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Suspicions, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/suspicions.htm

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I Just Want You To Hold Me Tonight
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/i.just.want.you.to.hold.me.htm

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A Dictionary of Dating
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/a.dictionary.of.dating.htm

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Translating Men, What They Say & What They Really Mean:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/translating

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I am glad I am a man, I am glad I am a woman:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/i_am_glad_i_am_a_man_i_am_gla...

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Male Bashing:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/male.bashing.htm

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Two Gifts For Adam & Eve, Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/two.gifts.for.adam.and.eve.htm

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Why Men Can't Win
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/why.men.cant.win.htm

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Why We Appreciate Men, A Woman's Perspective
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/why_we_appreciate_men,_a_woman's_perspective.htm

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Viagra Funnies
http://www.nursinghumor.com/drugs.medications/viagra.jokes.humor.htm

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See also:

******************************************************
For Health Information you can use, Follow, Connect, Like us on (Most Invites Accepted):
http://www.nursefriendly.com/social/

Twitter!
http://www.nursefriendly.com/twitter

Facebook:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/facebook

What's New:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/new/

Blogger:
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Linked In:
http://www.linkedin.com/in/nursefriendly

Nursing Entrepreneurs, Nurses In Business
http://nursingentrepreneurs.ning.com/

StumbleUpon,
http://www.nursefriendly.com/stumbleupon
******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.legalnursingconsultant.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Why Men Can't Win, Battle of The Sexes, Jokes & Humor

To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

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If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.

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Nursing Topics, A to Z: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K L, M, N, O, P, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

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If you do any Browsing or Windowshopping online, please visit our online Mall:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/shopping/

Gifts For Nurses:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/gifts/

4nursinguniforms.com:"Choose from Top Nursing Uniform Companies. All sizes, styles and popular name brands available. Large selection of accessories as well: Accessories Blood Pressure Cuffs, Sphygnomanometers Nursing Tote Bags, Carry-Ons, Medical Bags Clinical, Medical Supplies, Nurses Discount Outlet: Angels, Books, Clothing , Equipment, Figurines, Holidays, Home Decor, Jewelry, Nurses, Office Decor, Scrubs, Shoes, T-Shirts Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week) Hosiery, Socks, Stockings Hats, Jackets, Jumpers Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts Swimwear (Tan-Through) Women's Lingerie "
4nursinguniforms.com

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses."
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881
http://www.nursefriendly.com/station/

Choose Nursing Uniforms, Shoes, Scrubs, Accessories By Brand:

--

Any questions, please drop me a line.

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Follow us on:

What's New:
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Twitter!
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StumbleUpon,
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******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.legalnursingconsultant.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

To read our newest, visit http://www.4nursing.com/blog

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Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/docisms


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What doctors say & What they mean

This should be taken care of right away
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself

Welllllll, what have we here...?
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue

Let me check your medical history
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you

Why don't we make another appointment later in the week
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
OR
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

We have some good news and some bad news

The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

Let's see how it develops
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured


Let me schedule you for some tests
I have a forty percent interest in the lab


I'd like to have my associate look at you
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle


I'd like to prescribe a new drug
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig

If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call
I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

That's quite a nasty looking wound
I think I'm going to throw up

This may smart a little
Last week two patients bit off their tongues

Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?
I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

This should fix you up
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff

Everything seems to be normal Rats!
I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

I'd like to run some more tests
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?
You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...

There is a lot of that going around
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.
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More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing

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A Really Serious Mistake, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted famous doctor was asked by a reporter:"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistake

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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Contraceptive Jelly, Birth Control Jokes, Patient Education Humor:"A young girl is getting married, so she goes to her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on the diaphragm."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/jelly

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Cost of A Screw, Medical Jokes, Operating Room, Surgical Humor:"A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screw

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Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/too

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Doctor's Fee, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"An elderly man has just moved to a new town, when he is taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor. In the doctor's waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor is a specialist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fee

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Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
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http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Sunday, February 18, 2007

A Lawyer To The End, Attorney Jokes, Gallows Humor

To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

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A Lawyer To The End, Attorney Jokes, Gallows Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/end
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A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife.

She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?"

He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.

He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left.

The wife was curious, so she asked, "What are you doing, honey?"

"I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.

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A Lawyer At The Pearly Gates, Going To Heaven Jokes, Attorney Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pearly

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A Lawyer To The End, Attorney Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/end

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A Pound of Brain, Lawyer's Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/brain

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A Question of Trust, Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/trust

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About What Daddy Does,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/does

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Autopsy Cross Examination, Legal Jokes, Malpractice Humor:"Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/autopsy

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Eating Grass, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:"One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eating

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Here Lies A Lawyer, And An Honest Man, Attorney Humor, Lawyer & Legal Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/honest

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How Much Do You Charge?:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/attorney.rates.how.much.do.you.charge.htm

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Lawyer's Fees, Attorney Jokes, Legal Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes.lawyers.fees.htm

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Lawyer's Hell, Attorney Jokes, Religious Humor:"A lawyer died and immediately went to hell for all his professional sins."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers

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Lawyer's Q & A:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/questions.answers.htm

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Love Stamps, Lawyer Jokes, Divorce Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stamps

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Medical Experiments, Lawyer Jokes, Legal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/experiment/

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Padded Bills, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/padded

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Questions At The Pearly Gates, Lawyer Jokes, Going To Heaven Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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SharkTalk: The legal word game from Nolo Press:
http://www.nolo.com/sharktalk/sharktalk_welcome.html

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The Spinster's Will, Lawyers, Attorneys & Legal Jokes & Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/will

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Taking It With You Attorney Jokes, Lawyers Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/with

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The Pope and The Lawyer At The Pearly Gates, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/the.pope.and.a.lawyer.in.heaven.htm

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Three Kick Rule, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/kick

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Two Plus Two Is? Attorneys Jokes, Legal Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/four

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Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf

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The Consultation, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/consultation

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You Know You Need A New Lawyer When . . . , Attorney Jokes, Legal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/you

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To subscribe to our:

Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:

Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com
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Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.

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