Nursefriendly.com

Thursday, February 22, 2007

It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

To read our newest, visit http://www.4nursing.com/blog

******************************************************
It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/operation
******************************************************

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.

A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

******************************************************
******************************************************
More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

Cost of A Screw, Medical Jokes, Operating Room, Surgical Humor:"A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screw

******************************************************

A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing

******************************************************

A Really Serious Mistake, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted famous doctor was asked by a reporter:"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistake

******************************************************

A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

******************************************************

Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

******************************************************

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

******************************************************

Contraceptive Jelly, Birth Control Jokes, Patient Education Humor:"A young girl is getting married, so she goes to her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on the diaphragm."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/jelly

******************************************************

Diving Right In, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/psychiatric.jokes.nursing.humor.diving.right.in.htm

******************************************************

Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/too

******************************************************

Doctor's Fee, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"An elderly man has just moved to a new town, when he is taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor. In the doctor's waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor is a specialist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fee

******************************************************

Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

******************************************************

Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam

******************************************************

Excess Weight, Medical Jokes, Obesity Humor:"Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you're carrying around," the doctor asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weight

******************************************************

Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye

******************************************************

Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted

******************************************************

Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

******************************************************

Going Blind, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych

******************************************************

Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going

******************************************************

Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible

******************************************************

Immunization Etiquette, Pediatric Jokes, Vaccination Humor:"While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/etiquette

******************************************************

New Arrival, Medical Jokes, Organ Transplant Humor:"A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/arrival

******************************************************

New Ears, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ears

******************************************************

Observation Skills, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:"A lecturer in a Medical school was tutoring a class on 'Observation.' He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/observation

******************************************************

Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue

******************************************************

Pre-op Examination, Operating Room, OR Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pre

******************************************************

Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed

******************************************************

Three Times A Week, Doctors Jokes, Marriage Humor:"

An elderly woman went to the doctor for a check up. After examining her and checking her cardiovascular activity, the doctor recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/three

The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

Treating A Cold, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold. "Have you seen a doctor about that cold?" he asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/treating

Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/need

Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/late

The Circumcision, Medical Jokes, Kids Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/circumcision

How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/how

Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf

She Didn't Make It, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/it

Met Professionally, Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/professionally

New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary

Auto Enthusiast, Surgeon Jokes, Medical Humor:"A 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/auto

Blind Drunk, Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/drunk

Stern Sibling, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Sibling Humor:"An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stern

Last Words, Doctor Jokes, Priest Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/last

Quick Diagnosis, Doctor Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/diagnosis

Come Quick! Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/quick

Taking Notes, Doctor Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/notes

Fine Art, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/art

Healthcare Dollars, Medical Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"In reviewing how our healthcare dollars are spent, the following statistics were revealed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dollars

Medical Bloopers Found In Patient Charts, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/bloopers

Skin Graft, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A married couple were in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/graft

Big Words, Children's Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/words

Small, Medium or Large? Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medium

Bad News, Worse News, Medical Jokes, Geriatric Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/news

A Future Physician, Medical Jokes, Parenting Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/future

Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions

Sun Burn Treatment, Medical Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/sun

The Good News, The Bad News, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/good/

Isolation Precautions, Infection Control Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/isolation

Not Good Looking, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/looking

Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/practical

This Won't Hurt Much, Medical Jokes, Military Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/much

Common Forms of Office Illness, On The Job Jokes, Medical Humor,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/illness

Coffee and Viagra, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/viagra

Rusty Tools, Viagra Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-viagra-marriage-rusty-tools.html

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining

Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark

The Business Trip, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-medical-doctor-patient-jokes-business-trip.html

Sex Therapy, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.sex.therapy.htm

Post-Op Blues, Medical Jokes, Anesthesiology Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.post.op.blues.htm

A Star In The East, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.a.star.in.the.east.htm

The Forgetful Patient, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/the.forgetful.patient.htm

Doctor's Funeral, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.doctors.funeral.htm

Buying Condoms, Pharmacy Jokes, Infidelity Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/condoms

Odds & Ends, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.odds.and.ends.htm

Heart Transplant, Organ Donation Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.heart.transplant.htm

Passing Wind, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.passing.wind.htm

Removing Patches, Medications Jokes, Pharmacy Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.removing.patches.htm

Top Ten Reasons For Becoming An Anesthesiologist, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/anesthesiologist

Screwed Up Laboratory Results, Medical Jokes, Laboratory Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screwed

Taxonomy of Medical Professionals, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.taxonomy.of.medical.professionals.htm

The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

Approving The New Hospital Policy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.approving.the.new.hospital.policy.htm

Patient Confidentiality, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.patient.confidentiality.htm

Five Benefits of Mothers Milk, Breastfeeding Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.five.benefits.of.mothers.milk.htm

Arkansas Medical Definitions, Medical Terminology Jokes, Redneck Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

Anyone Need A Doctor? Medical Jokes, First Aid Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

A Cure For One Man's Cough, Medical Jokes, Drug & Pharmacy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/cough/

Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

Viagra Variations, Drug & Medications Jokes, Prescription Medicine Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/drugs.prescriptions.medications.medicines.viagra.variations.htm

A Grandmother's Insomnia, Doctor's Jokes, Pregnancy & Medications Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insomnia

Shooting Blanks, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.shooting.blanks.htm

I Think My Wife Is Going Deaf, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.jokes.humor.my.wife.is.going.deaf.htm

A Doctor, A Nurse And A Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.jokes.humor.a.doctor.a.nurse.and.a.shredder.htm

He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm

Near Death Experience, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/near.death.experiences.plastic.surgeries.htm

The Aspirin And The Job Interview, Medical Jokes, On The Job Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.jokes.humor.the.aspirin.and.the.interview.htm

A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work

Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

Perfect Shape Considering Your Age, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.perfect.shape.considering.your.age.htm

Six Months To Live, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/six.months.to.live.htm

It Hurts All Over, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://nursinghumor.com/hurts

Actual Medical Quotes From Patient Charts, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/actual.medical.quotes.from.charts.htm

First Proctology Exam, Medical Humor, Doctors Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/first.proctology.exam.htm

A Short History Of Medicine, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/a.short.history.of.medicine.htm

Anyone For Pasta, Medical Jokes, Marriage & Infidelity Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pasta

A Cure For One Man's Stuttering:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/a.cure.for.one.mans.stuttering.htm

The Best Thing, Doctor Jokes, Patient Humor:"David wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/thing

Breastfeeding Technical Support, Medical Jokes, Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/breastfeeding

Dehydration, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/dehydration.htm

The Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/the.difference.between.doctors.and.veterinarians.htm

Five Doctors Go Duck Hunting
http://www.nursinghumor.com/duck

Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm

My Elbow Hurts!
http://www.nursinghumor.com/elbow

Professional Courtesy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/professional.courtesy.htm

Screening Medical Students
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screening

The Doctor's Visit, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/doctors

Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/operation

Who Can Read This? Doctor's Handwriting, Medical Humor:"Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion? The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/read

Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/

You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if..., Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:"1) Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion. 2) Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you. 3) You think that caffeine should be available in IV form. 4) You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/erdoc

**
Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 9:03 AM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Labels: Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor, Operating Room, OR

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Life's Tug of War, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories

To subscribe, send a blank email to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
******************************************************
Life's Tug of War, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/tug
******************************************************

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind

Life can be blissful and happy and free
Life can put beauty in the things that you see

Life can place challenges right at your feet
Life can make good of the hardships that we meet

Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin
Life can reward those determined to win

Life can be hurtful and not always fair
Life can surround you with people who care

Life clearly does offer its ups and its downs
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns

Life teaches us to take the good with the bad
Life is a mixture of happy and sad

So.....

Take the life that you have and give it your best
Think positive, be happy let God do the rest

Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet
Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet

To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall
Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all

Take the love that you're given and return it with care
Have faith that when needed it will always be there

Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see
Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free

The idea here is simply to even the score
As you are met and faced with Life's Tug Of War

Author unknown
******************************************************
******************************************************
Choose more poems, inspirational stories by category:
Nursing Stories, Nurse Tales, Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nursing
A to Z Inspirational Stories List
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/alpha
Affection, Caring, Friendship
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/affection
Ambition, Determination, Persistence, Resiliency
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/ambition
Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/angels
Animals, Pets, God's Creatures
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/animals
Children, Babies, Infants, Kids
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/children
Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/death
Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Sorrow
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grief
Virtues, Dependability, Honesty, Reliability
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/virtues
More categories, http://www.inspirationalnursing.com
******************************************************
******************************************************
Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 8:39 AM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANE)

http://www.nursingexperts.com/sane

Sexual Assult Nurse Examiner (S.A.N.E.) Sexual Assault Response Team (S.A.R.T):"The Sexual Assault Resource Service (SARS) is a hospital-based SANE program that works within the SART model. SARS was developed by Linda E. Ledray, RN, Ph.D., SANE-A, FAAN, in 1977, and is one of the first SANE programs. While SARS is based at Hennepin County Medical Center, exams are conducted by SARS staff at seven medical facilities within Hennepin County."
Linda@sane-sart.com, 612-347-5832
http://www.sane-sart.com/
******************************************************
Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Program standards and credential requirements (Kentucky):"KRS 314.142(1) requires the board to promulgate administrative regulations to create a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Program. This administrative regulation establishes the requirements relating to a sexual assault nurse examiner course and the credentials of a sexual assault nurse examiner. Section 1. Definition. "SANE course" means a formal, organized course of instruction that is designed to prepare a registered nurse to perform forensic evaluation of a sexual assault victim fourteen (14) years of age or older and to promote and preserve the victim's biological, psychological and social health."
http://www.lrc.state.ky.us/kar/201/020/411.htm
******************************************************
MedCentral Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner program:"Victims of sexual assault receive the highest level of medical and forensic care through MedCentral Health System's Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner program. A Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) is a registered nurse with advanced specialized education who provides comprehensive care to sexual assault patients and demonstrates competency in conducting a medical forensic examination. MedCentral SANE nurses are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to care for sexual assault patients in the north central Ohio area, regardless of the patients' gender, age or race."
MedCentral Health System
Corporate offices
335 Glessner Ave. Mansfield, Ohio 44903-2265
419-526-8000
medcentral@medcentral.org
http://www.medcentral.org/departments/sane.htm
******************************************************
Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Program, MeritCare Health System:"What is SANE? SANE stands for sexual assault nurse examiner. SANEs are registered nurses who have received specialized training to examine victims of sexual assault. How does the SANE program work? When victims of sexual assault first arrive at MeritCare's Emergency Center (EC), a triage nurse will check vital signs and ask some simple questions about the person's immediate needs. If there are urgent injuries, one of MeritCare's Emergency Center doctors will examine and treat those injuries. The on-call SANE will be contacted and will respond in a short amount of time. SANEs care for sexual assault victims that are ages 13 and older. Younger children will be referred to a pediatrician."
MeritCare Health System
P.O. Box M.C. Fargo, ND 58122
(701) 234-2000 Guest Services: (701) 234-5524 ASK-A-NURSE: (701) 234-5000
http://www.meritcare.com/specialties/more/sanep/
******************************************************
Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (S.A.N.E. Nurse), North Carolina Center For Nursing:"This nurse responds to notification of sexual assault, usually by emergency room staff and obtains a preliminary history, conducts an in-depth interview and conducts the physical, including a pelvic exam to collect appropriate evidence. The nurse maintains a verified chain of evidence and collaborates with law enforcement officials, which may include testifying in court. The role includes victim education regarding sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy risks and provides referrals for follow-up care."
222 North Person Street, Raleigh, North Carolina 27601
Telephone 919-715-3523 FAX 919-715-3528
bcleary@northcarolina.edu
http://www.nursenc.org/recruitmentandretention/youth/roles/sane.htm
******************************************************
Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Program - Ontario Network of Sexual Assault Care and Treatment Centres (Canada):"The Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner program began in October 1995 with the training of 25 nurses from across Ontario. As of March 2000, over 300 nurses have completed the 40 hour training program. The SANE program developed out of experience learned in the United States for the provision of care for sexual assault survivors. A provincial training program has been developed which enables the nurse to provide the emergency care to the victim/survivor independent of a physician unless medical care is warranted. The intent of the program is to increase the continuity of care for the client, decrease the length of time for the client in the service and to increase utilization of professionals. The cost of providing service to the client is also decreased as physician OHIP billings are reduced."
http://www.satcontario.com/Services/#Documentation
******************************************************
Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Program, Sparrow Health System:"(S.A.N.E.) Mission Statement: The goal of the sexual assault nurse examiner program is to provide coordinated, timely, comprehensive and compassionate care to pediatric and adult victims of sexual assault. The SANE program is available 24 hours a day and provides an environment that is victim focused. A protocol for treatment of the sexual assault patient is followed under the medical director of the emergency department. The SANE program nurses work directly with police, prosecutors, child protective services and community advocacy services to provide optimal and coordinated care."
Call 517.364.3641 (Program Supervisor) or 517.364.3729 (ED Triage - ask to speak with the SANE Examiner)
http://www.sparrow.org/emergency/sane.asp
******************************************************
Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Unit (SANE), UniversityHospitals Health System, Bedford Medical Center:"UHHS Bedford Medical Center's Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Unit (SANE) is coordinated by the Emergency Department for sexual assault survivors. The program's registered nurses are specially trained to provide care to sexual assault survivors. They also have the ability to serve as expert witnesses in court, including demonstrating competency in forensic examinations. The SANE Unit provides private, compassionate care and timely collection of forensic evidence in female/male adult and selected pediatric sexual assault survivors. In addition to documentation (including domestic violence photographs and DNA evidence on alleged perpetrators), UHHS Bedford Medical Center provides all appropriate medical care, including preventive treatment for sexually transmitted diseases."
UHHS Bedford Medical Center
By Mail at 44 Blaine Avenue, Bedford, Ohio 44146
By Phone at (440) 735-3900 By Fax at (440) 735-3531
http://www.uhhsbmc.com/nurseexaminer.shtml
******************************************************
Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE), West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information and Services:"A Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) is a registered nurse who has been specifically trained to provide comprehensive care to sexual violence victims. The SANE is trained to identify physical trauma, to document injuries, to collect evidence and maintain the chain of custody, and to provide necessary referrals. To become a SANE, a registered nurse must successfully complete a 40-hour training. An additional 40-60 hours of supervised clinical experience are also required."
West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information and Services
112 Braddock Street Fairmont, WV 26554
Nancy B. Hoffman State Coordinator 304-366-9500 304-366-9501 - FAX
NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE 1-800-656-HOPE
http://www.fris.org/Sections/08-Programs/8.04-SANE.html
******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 2:26 PM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Labels: Specialty Nursing

Certified Nurse Midwives, CNM, Advanced Practice Nurses APNs

http://www.4nursing.com/cnm
American College of Nurse Midwives:"With roots dating to 1929, the American College of Nurse-Midwives (ACNM) is the oldest women's health care organization in the U.S. ACNM provides research, accredits midwifery education programs, administers and promotes continuing education programs, establishes clinical practice standards, creates liaisons with state and federal agencies and members of Congress. The mission of ACNM is to promote the health and well-being of women and infants within their families and communities through the development and support of the profession of midwifery as practiced by certified nurse-midwives, and certified midwives. The philosophy inherent in the profession states that nurse-midwives believe every individual has the right to safe, satisfying health care with respect for human dignity and cultural variations."
American College of Nurse-Midwives.
8403 Colesville Rd, Suite 1550 Silver Spring MD 20910
Phone: 240-485-1800 • Fax: 240-485-1818
www.midwife.org
****************************************************
What do nurse-midwives do? allnursingschools.com:"Nurse-midwives are very involved in labor and delivery, sometimes never leaving the mother during the entire labor process. They are trained to recognize signs and symptoms that deviate from normal conditions and will consult with a physician who may become involved in the delivery if needed. Although qualified to administer drugs and to perform medical procedures, those interventions are not routine for nurse-midwives, and they are used only when the mother requests them. Most nurse-midwives deliver babies in hospitals and in homes. They also provide both prenatal and postpartum care for both mothers and newborns. In addition, nurse-midwives provide family planning and birth control counseling, and normal gynecological services such as: physical and breast exams, pap smears, and preventive health screening. In most states, nurse-midwives may prescribe medications."
All Star Directories, Inc.
936 N. 34th Street
3rd Floor
Seattle, WA 98103
http://www.allnursingschools.com/faqs/cnm.php
****************************************************
Choosing a certified nurse-midwife, Babycenter.com:"You can choose a certified nurse-midwife to care for you during your pregnancy as long as you're in good health (meaning you have no serious chronic medical condition, such as high blood pressure, epilepsy, heart disease, or diabetes). At your first visit to a midwife, she'll take a comprehensive medical history, answer any questions you have, perform a physical exam, and have laboratory screenings done. She can make arrangements for any prenatal testing you want to have done that she doesn't do herself, such as ultrasound or amniocentesis. If it turns out that you have certain medical or obstetrical conditions — such as high blood pressure or triplets — that require the care of an obstetrician or a perinatalogist (a high-risk specialist), she'll refer you to one."
163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, CA 94107
For Store Customer Service, call us toll free at (866) 241-2229
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/prenatalhealth/322.html
****************************************************
Is a Certified Nurse-Midwife Right for You? Discovery Health:"Have you considered asking a certified nurse-midwife (CNM) to assist in your labor? A certified nurse-midwife has been trained in two disciplines: midwifery and nursing. He or she carries a wonderful blend of reassuring support and medical expertise. Here are the answers to some common questions about midwives. What does a CNM do? A midwife's care extends beyond the birth experience to include prenatal care, such as counseling the mother about breastfeeding and infant care. He or she can also offer the mother postpartum care in the form of support and information regarding the physical and emotional changes the mother is experiencing."
http://health.discovery.com/centers/pregnancy/americanbaby/certnursemidwife.html
****************************************************
Frontier School of Midwifery and Family Nursing (FSMFN):"The Frontier School of Midwifery and Family Nursing (FSMFN) specializes in nurse-midwifery and nurse practitioner education for students aspiring to become a certified nurse midwife (CNM) and/or a family nurse practitioner (FNP). Students and graduates of our Community-based Nurse-Midwifery Education Program (CNEP) have the option of completing the additional certificate program to become a Women's Health Care Nurse Practitioner (WHCNP). The Frontier School offers off campus, web-based, distance education for the student interested in continuing their education in their own community. Using clinics, hospitals and preceptors in your own community allows students to achieve their goals of higher education and get the hands on education required for these exciting health care professions."
P.O. Box 528
195 School Street
Hyden, KY 41749
(606) 672-2312
Email Us at FSMFN@midwives.org
http://www.midwives.org/
****************************************************
Certified Nurse-Midwives, Kids Into Health Careers:"Certified nurse-midwives (CNMs) are RNs with advanced training in midwifery that allows them to care for expectant mothers and to provide a range of clinical services for women. They examine women during pregnancy; manage labor; deliver infants; and after birth, care for the newborn and mother. Other duties include preventive health care, counseling, prescribing medication (most States), conducting clinical research, and teaching. All 50 States have recognized nurse-midwifery as a legal profession. Certified nurse-midwives may choose private practice or be employed in hospitals, independent birthing centers, or clinics. Hours will vary, although CNMs are usually on call and must be available to expectant mothers at all times."
Kids Into Health Careers
HRSA Bureau of Health Professions
Parklawn Room 8A-09
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, Maryland 20857
301-443-2100
kidscareers@hrsa.gov
http://bhpr.hrsa.gov/kidscareers/nurse_midwife.htm
****************************************************
Midwives, KidsHealth.org:"Congratulations, you're pregnant! Let the decision-making begin. Choosing a health care provider to care for you and your baby during your pregnancy is one of the biggest decisions you'll be making. In the United States, women's choices have traditionally been limited to an obstetrician or a knowledgeable family doctor. For some women with low-risk, uncomplicated pregnancies, midwives offer an excellent alternative. In Europe, midwives assist at more than 70% of normal vaginal births. Though midwives delivered only 7% of American babies in 1997, that percentage has been increasing since 1975. But most Americans aren't sure what they do, how they're trained, or if they're even available. Is a midwife a viable option for you?"
http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/pregnancy/midwives.html
****************************************************
MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia: Certified Nurse Midwife profession (CNM):"Nurse-midwifery in the United States dates back to 1925. At that time, Mary Breckenridge developed the Frontier Nursing Service in Kentucky. The program used public health registered nurses, who had received additional nurse-midwifery education in England, to staff nursing centers in the Appalachian mountains. The centers offered family health care services in addition to childbearing and delivery care to residents within the region. The first nurse-midwifery education program in the U.S. was founded in 1932 at the Maternity Center Association of New York City. The program enrolled public health nurses and awarded a certificate in nurse-midwifery to its graduates. Today, all nurse-midwifery programs are within institutions of higher education. Approximately 70% of nurse-midwives graduate at the Master's degree level. These programs must be accredited by the American College of Nurse-Midwives (ACNM) in order for graduates to be eligible to take the National Certification Examination."
MEDLINE Plus
Office of Communications and Public Liaison
National Library of Medicine
8600 Rockville Pike
Bethesda, Maryland 20894
Phone: (301) 496-6308
Fax: (301) 496-4450
E-mail: publicinfo@nlm.nih.gov
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002000.htm
****************************************************
myMidwife.org:"Welcome to myMidwife.org -- everything you need to know about midwifery, pregnancy, and women's health. Certified Nurse-Midwives (CNMs) and Certified Midwives (CMs) focus on you - the woman, the mother, the child, the father, the partner, the grandparent - while providing health care services to women and newborns."
American College of Nurse-Midwives.
8403 Colesville Rd, Suite 1550 Silver Spring MD 20910
Phone: 240-485-1800 • Fax: 240-485-1818
http://www.mymidwife.org/
****************************************************
What is a Midwife? - WomensHealthChannel:"A midwife attends childbirth, provides support during labor and delivery, and supervises the general care of women and children directly after birth. The term midwife, meaning "with a woman," was first recorded in 1300. However, accounts dating to the second century confirm the role of midwives in the birthing process. Contemporary midwives provide care to women during normal pregnancies and deliveries and call on obstetricians or other physicians if complications develop. Midwifery is a professionally regulated field."
http://www.womenshealthchannel.com/midwife.shtml
****************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 2:20 PM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Labels: Advanced Practice Nurses APNs

A Lawyer To The End, Attorney Jokes, Gallows Humor

To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
******************************************************
A Lawyer To The End, Attorney Jokes, Gallows Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/end
******************************************************

A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife.
She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?"
He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.
He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left.
The wife was curious, so she asked, "What are you doing, honey?"
"I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.
******************************************************
******************************************************
A Lawyer At The Pearly Gates, Going To Heaven Jokes, Attorney Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pearly
******************************************************
A Lawyer To The End, Attorney Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/end
******************************************************
A Pound of Brain, Lawyer's Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/brain
******************************************************
A Question of Trust, Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/trust
******************************************************
About What Daddy Does,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/does
******************************************************
Autopsy Cross Examination, Legal Jokes, Malpractice Humor:"Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/autopsy
******************************************************
Eating Grass, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:"One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eating
******************************************************
Here Lies A Lawyer, And An Honest Man, Attorney Humor, Lawyer & Legal Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/honest
******************************************************
How Much Do You Charge?:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/attorney.rates.how.much.do.you.charge.htm
******************************************************
Lawyer's Fees, Attorney Jokes, Legal Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes.lawyers.fees.htm
******************************************************
Lawyer's Hell, Attorney Jokes, Religious Humor:"A lawyer died and immediately went to hell for all his professional sins."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers
******************************************************
Lawyer's Q & A:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/questions.answers.htm
******************************************************
Love Stamps, Lawyer Jokes, Divorce Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stamps
******************************************************
Medical Experiments, Lawyer Jokes, Legal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/experiment/
******************************************************
Padded Bills, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/padded
******************************************************
Questions At The Pearly Gates, Lawyer Jokes, Going To Heaven Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/
******************************************************
SharkTalk: The legal word game from Nolo Press:
http://www.nolo.com/sharktalk/sharktalk_welcome.html
******************************************************
The Spinster's Will, Lawyers, Attorneys & Legal Jokes & Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/will
******************************************************
Taking It With You Attorney Jokes, Lawyers Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/with
******************************************************
The Pope and The Lawyer At The Pearly Gates, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/the.pope.and.a.lawyer.in.heaven.htm
******************************************************
Three Kick Rule, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/kick
******************************************************
Two Plus Two Is? Attorneys Jokes, Legal Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/four
******************************************************
Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf
******************************************************
The Consultation, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/consultation
******************************************************
You Know You Need A New Lawyer When . . . , Attorney Jokes, Legal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/you
******************************************************
******************************************************
******************************************************
To subscribe to our:
Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:
Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.
Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
http://lists.topica.com/lists/nursingjokes/
Clinical Nursing Cases:
Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.lopez1.com/lopez/clinical.cases.htm
Inspirational Stories:
Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com
******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 11:10 AM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Labels: Medical Humor, Nursing Jokes, Nursinghumor.com

Papa's Sermon, Religious Poems, Parenting Stories

To subscribe, send a blank email to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
******************************************************
Papa's Sermon, Religious Poems, Parenting Stories
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/sermon
******************************************************

Busy in his study, a minister was preparing his sermon for the coming Sunday. He reached to the shelf at his side for a book, and then remembered that he had left it downstairs.
His little daughter was playing in the bedroom, and he called her. She came, running, eager and delighted at the thought that Papa needed her. He explained carefully where she could find the book, and she went gladly, returning in a moment with a book which he saw at a glance was the wrong one.
But he hardly looked at the book as he took it and laid it on the table. He looked only at the eager face of his daughter, wreathed in smiles. Gathering her close to his heart, he kissed her and said, "Thank You, darling."
And when she had gone back happy and contented to her play, he went quietly for the book he needed.
I think I should like to listen to the sermons that man would preach.
Author unknown
******************************************************
******************************************************

Choose more poems, inspirational stories by category:
Nursing Stories, Nurse Tales, Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nursing A to Z Inspirational Stories List
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/alpha

Affection, Caring, Friendship
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/affection

Ambition, Determination, Persistence, Resiliency
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/ambition

Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/angels

Animals, Pets, God's Creatures
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/animals

Children, Babies, Infants, Kids
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/children

Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/death

Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Sorrow
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grief

Virtues, Dependability, Honesty, Reliability
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/virtues

More categories, http://www.inspirationalnursing.com
******************************************************
******************************************************
Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 7:36 AM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Labels: Inspiration Touching, Inspire, Parenting Stories, Religious Poems

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Wrong Number, Infidelity Jokes, Divorce Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
******************************************************
Wrong Number, Infidelity Jokes, Divorce Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/wrong
******************************************************
It was Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."

After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"

"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"

******************************************************
******************************************************
More Divorce Jokes, http://www.nursinghumor.com/divorce

A Divorced Woman's Perfect Breakfast, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/breakfast
******************************************************
And You Wonder "Why" It Didn't Last, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/wonder
******************************************************
Divorce Cards, Marriage Jokes, Ending A Marriage Humor:"They need a new line of greeting cards just for divorce...Front of card would say..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/cards
******************************************************
Everything He Needs, Divorce Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/needs
******************************************************
Farmer's Divorce, Redneck Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/farmers
******************************************************
Her Third Husband, Divorce Jokes, Golfing Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/third
******************************************************
Love Stamps, Lawyer Jokes, Divorce Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stamps
******************************************************
The Perfect Man, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/perfect
******************************************************
Physician's Mistress:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistress
******************************************************
Twin Sisters, Being Married, Marriage Jokes, Divorce Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/twin
******************************************************
Wrong Number, Infidelity Jokes, Cheating Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/wrong
******************************************************
******************************************************
To subscribe to our:
Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:
Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.
Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
http://lists.topica.com/lists/nursingjokes/
Clinical Nursing Cases:
Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.lopez1.com/lopez/clinical.cases.htm
Inspirational Stories:
Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com
Any questions, please drop me a line. To chat, we are “Nursefriendly” on aol or 6116137 on ICQ.
Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 11:57 PM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Being a Parent, Motherhood Poems, Parenting Stories

To subscribe, send a blank email to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
******************************************************
Being a Parent, Motherhood Poems, Parenting Stories
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/being
******************************************************
The house is untidy from window to door,
Marks on the walls and food on the floor.
The washing's unwashed
and the dishes are too,
There's scum in the bathroom
And fat on the stew.
There are toys in the passage
And under our feet;
The garden's a jungle
When seen from the street.
So what have I done, then
To earn my repose?
To just look around me
You'd say no-one knows!
I've held a small hand
As her first steps she took.
I've made animal noises
As we read a book.
I've built a mud pie
And admired a snail,
I've rescued the cat
From a grip on her tail.
I've wiped away tears,
And I've listened to tales.
I've used mediation
To get smiles from wails.
So I guess what I've done
Isn't easy to see -
It won't clean the house
And it won't cook the tea.
But if I have helped make a child feel good, know that she's loved and that she's understood, then I know that my work, though not easy to see, is just as important as any could be.
Author Unknown
******************************************************
******************************************************
Choose more poems, inspirational stories by category:
Nursing Stories, Nurse Tales, Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nursing
A to Z Inspirational Stories List
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/alpha
Affection, Caring, Friendship
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/affection
Ambition, Determination, Persistence, Resiliency
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/ambition
Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/angels
Animals, Pets, God's Creatures
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/animals
Children, Babies, Infants, Kids
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/children
Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/death
Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Sorrow
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grief
Virtues, Dependability, Honesty, Reliability
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/virtues
More categories, http://www.inspirationalnursing.com
******************************************************
******************************************************
To subscribe to our:

Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:
Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com

Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.
Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com

Clinical Nursing Cases:
Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com

Inspirational Stories:
Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 9:39 PM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Funny stuff archive, New Jokes, Humor Link

Came across this site looking for new nursing and medical jokes for http://www.nursinghumor.com
It's got a large selection of jokes, cartoons and more! Enjoy!
Funny stuff archive:"Biggest collection of funny stuff : funny videos, funny pictures, jokes, humor, news funnies, free games, audio and more! Updated every 30 mins. Post your funny stuff today here!"
http://www.afunnystuff.com/
******************************************************
If you have a funny joke or cartoon to submit, send it to me at info@nursefriendly.com
Thanks!
Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Posted by Andrew Lopez, RN at 5:39 PM No comments:
Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest

Life's Tug of War, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories

Nursefriendly.com

Thursday, February 22, 2007

It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANE)

Certified Nurse Midwives, CNM, Advanced Practice Nurses APNs

A Lawyer To The End, Attorney Jokes, Gallows Humor

Papa's Sermon, Religious Poems, Parenting Stories

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Wrong Number, Infidelity Jokes, Divorce Humor

Being a Parent, Motherhood Poems, Parenting Stories

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Funny stuff archive, New Jokes, Humor Link

Blog Archive

Contact Us

About Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly.com

Followers