Showing posts with label Medical Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Medical Humor. Show all posts

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Nurses’ funny hospital chart bloopers, ScrubsMag.com

Back by popular demand! We’ve been running some articles featuring charting disasters (goofy chart bloopers and crazy chart bloopers) lately and must admit…some seemed too wild to be true.

So then we asked our readers: Do you have any good ones to share?

Well, these all-new funny hospital chart bloopers were submitted by you, so they must be real!


1. “A 24-year-old woman oriented to person, space and time.”
—submitted by Liz R.

2. “Pt alive but hope to remedy situation by AM.”
—submitted by Michelle Steinbach, RN, critical care nurse for 14 years

3. “Alert and organized x3”
—submitted by Evelyn Kathleen

Click on the "via" link to read the rest of the article.

See also: http://www.nursinghumor.com

Any questions, please drop me a line.

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

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http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Friday, February 18, 2011

Medtees - T-Shirts that Empower Patients With Illnesses

T-Shirts for the Irreverent Patient
It's been a tough year, help them laugh about it. MedTees make a great gift idea for the Holiday season that says “We’re all in this together!”

Best Sellers

Pacemaker/Defibrillator Patients

Psychology/ADD/OCD

Heart Disease

Cancer Patients

Diabetes

Rehabilitation

Burn Patients

Amputee Patients

On the lighter side :)

--

Any questions, please drop me a line.

******************************************************
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http://nursingentrepreneurs.ning.com/

Twitter!
http://www.nursefriendly.com/twitter

StumbleUpon,
http://www.nursefriendly.com/stumbleupon
******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.legalnursingconsultant.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Physician's Mistress, Doctor Jokes, Divorce Humor

http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistress Follow us on:
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Doctor Goldstein and his wife are having dinner at an upscale restaurant
when an attractive young blonde walks by, smiles at the Doctor and says "Hi
Sammy".

The wife, somewhat irritated, asks "And who is that?".

Dr. says "That's my Mistress."

Wife asks "You have a Mistress? How long has this been going on?"

Dr... "About five years."

Wife... "Five years? I'll see a lawyer tomorrow and start a divorce.
You'll be ruined."

Dr... "Now think about it. If we divorce, we each get half of what we
have. You won't have that big house, won't get a new Beamer every year and
won't be shopping and playing bridge all day with your so called friends."

Just then a cute red head walks by and says "Hi Sammy."

Wife... "And who is that one?"

Dr... "That's Bill Grant's Mistress."

Wife... "Doctor Grant has a Mistress too?"

Dr.... "About twelve years now."

Wife... "Ours is a lot prettier."

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A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing

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A Really Serious Mistake, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted famous doctor was asked by a reporter:"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistake

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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Contraceptive Jelly, Birth Control Jokes, Patient Education Humor:"A young girl is getting married, so she goes to her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on the diaphragm."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/jelly

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Cost of A Screw, Medical Jokes, Operating Room, Surgical Humor:"A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screw

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Diving Right In, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/psychiatric.jokes.nursing.humor.diving.right.in.htm

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Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/too

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Doctor's Fee, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"An elderly man has just moved to a new town, when he is taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor. In the doctor's waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor is a specialist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fee

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Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

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Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam

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Excess Weight, Medical Jokes, Obesity Humor:"Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you're carrying around," the doctor asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weight

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Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye

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Feed Him Toast, Pediatrics Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/feed

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Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted

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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

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Going Blind, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych

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Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going

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Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible

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Immunization Etiquette, Pediatric Jokes, Vaccination Humor:"While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/etiquette

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New Arrival, Medical Jokes, Organ Transplant Humor:"A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/arrival

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New Ears, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ears

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Observation Skills, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:"A lecturer in a Medical school was tutoring a class on 'Observation.' He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/observation

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Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue

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Pre-op Examination, Operating Room, OR Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pre

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Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed

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Three Times A Week, Doctors Jokes, Marriage Humor:"

An elderly woman went to the doctor for a check up. After examining her and checking her cardiovascular activity, the doctor recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/three

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Treating A Cold, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold. "Have you seen a doctor about that cold?" he asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/treating

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Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/need

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Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/late

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The Circumcision, Medical Jokes, Kids Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/circumcision

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How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/how

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Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf

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She Didn't Make It, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/it

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Met Professionally, Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/professionally

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New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary

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Auto Enthusiast, Surgeon Jokes, Medical Humor:"A 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/auto

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Blind Drunk, Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/drunk

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Stern Sibling, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Sibling Humor:"An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stern

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Last Words, Doctor Jokes, Priest Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/last

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Quick Diagnosis, Doctor Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/diagnosis

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Come Quick! Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/quick

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Taking Notes, Doctor Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/notes

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Fine Art, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/art

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Healthcare Dollars, Medical Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"In reviewing how our healthcare dollars are spent, the following statistics were revealed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dollars

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Medical Bloopers Found In Patient Charts, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/bloopers

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Skin Graft, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A married couple were in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/graft

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Big Words, Children's Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/words

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Small, Medium or Large? Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medium

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Bad News, Worse News, Medical Jokes, Geriatric Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/news

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A Future Physician, Medical Jokes, Parenting Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/future

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Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions

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Sun Burn Treatment, Medical Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/sun

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The Good News, The Bad News, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/good/

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Isolation Precautions, Infection Control Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/isolation

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Not Good Looking, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/looking

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Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/practical

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This Won't Hurt Much, Medical Jokes, Military Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/much

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Common Forms of Office Illness, On The Job Jokes, Medical Humor,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/illness

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Coffee and Viagra, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/viagra

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Rusty Tools, Viagra Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-viagra-marriage-rusty-tools.html

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Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining

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Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark

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The Business Trip, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-medical-doctor-patient-jokes-business-trip.html

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Sex Therapy, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.sex.therapy.htm

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Post-Op Blues, Medical Jokes, Anesthesiology Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.post.op.blues.htm

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A Star In The East, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.a.star.in.the.east.htm

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The Forgetful Patient, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/the.forgetful.patient.htm

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Doctor's Funeral, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.doctors.funeral.htm

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Buying Condoms, Pharmacy Jokes, Infidelity Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/condoms

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Odds & Ends, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.odds.and.ends.htm

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Heart Transplant, Organ Donation Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.heart.transplant.htm

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Passing Wind, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.passing.wind.htm

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Removing Patches, Medications Jokes, Pharmacy Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.removing.patches.htm

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Top Ten Reasons For Becoming An Anesthesiologist, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/anesthesiologist

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Screwed Up Laboratory Results, Medical Jokes, Laboratory Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screwed

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Taxonomy of Medical Professionals, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.taxonomy.of.medical.professionals.htm

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The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

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Approving The New Hospital Policy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.approving.the.new.hospital.policy.htm

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Patient Confidentiality, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.patient.confidentiality.htm

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Five Benefits of Mothers Milk, Breastfeeding Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.five.benefits.of.mothers.milk.htm

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Arkansas Medical Definitions, Medical Terminology Jokes, Redneck Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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Anyone Need A Doctor? Medical Jokes, First Aid Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

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A Cure For One Man's Cough, Medical Jokes, Drug & Pharmacy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/cough/

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Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

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Viagra Variations, Drug & Medications Jokes, Prescription Medicine Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/drugs.prescriptions.medications.medicines.viagra.variations.htm

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A Grandmother's Insomnia, Doctor's Jokes, Pregnancy & Medications Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insomnia

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Shooting Blanks, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.shooting.blanks.htm

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I Think My Wife Is Going Deaf, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.jokes.humor.my.wife.is.going.deaf.htm

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A Doctor, A Nurse And A Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.jokes.humor.a.doctor.a.nurse.and.a.shredder.htm

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He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm

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Near Death Experience, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/near.death.experiences.plastic.surgeries.htm

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The Aspirin And The Job Interview, Medical Jokes, On The Job Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/interview

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A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work

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Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

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Perfect Shape Considering Your Age, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.perfect.shape.considering.your.age.htm

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Six Months To Live, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/six.months.to.live.htm

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It Hurts All Over, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://nursinghumor.com/hurts

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Actual Medical Quotes From Patient Charts, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/actual.medical.quotes.from.charts.htm

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First Proctology Exam, Medical Humor, Doctors Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/first.proctology.exam.htm

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A Short History Of Medicine, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/a.short.history.of.medicine.htm

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Anyone For Pasta, Medical Jokes, Marriage & Infidelity Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pasta

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A Cure For One Man's Stuttering:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/a.cure.for.one.mans.stuttering.htm

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The Best Thing, Doctor Jokes, Patient Humor:"David wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/thing

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Breastfeeding Technical Support, Medical Jokes, Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/breastfeeding

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Dehydration, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/dehydration.htm

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The Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/the.difference.between.doctors.and.veterinarians.htm

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Five Doctors Go Duck Hunting
http://www.nursinghumor.com/duck

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Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm

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McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise.

In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mcanns

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My Elbow Hurts!
http://www.nursinghumor.com/elbow

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Professional Courtesy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/professional.courtesy.htm

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Screening Medical Students
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screening

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The Doctor's Visit, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/doctors

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Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/operation

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Who Can Read This? Doctor's Handwriting, Medical Humor:"Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion? The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/read

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Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/

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You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if..., Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:"1) Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion. 2) Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you. 3) You think that caffeine should be available in IV form. 4) You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/erdoc

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DoctorFunnyWoman.com:"The DoctorFunnyWoman.com website is owned and operated by Ayodele Olugbemi,MD (pseudonym: Adele Obemi). A physician with specialist training in Family practice and Ob/Gyn, she has a special interest in women's and children's health. A member of the Royal College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists as well as the Royal College of General Practitioners (of the United Kingdom), she holds a Diploma in Child Health and a Diploma of the Faculty of Family Planning (UK) and is a Diplomate of the American Board of Family Practice."
doctorfunnywoman@hotmail.com
http://www.doctorfunnywoman.com

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GDU College of Medical Fraud:"GDU refuses to offer a degree in medicine out of concern that some cost-conscious hospital will hire someone with one of our diplomas, and let them perform surgery. However,GDU does offer programs in medically-related fields"
http://www.bandersnatch.com/med.htm

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Medindia.net, Medical Humor:
http://www.medindia.net/Humour/humourindex.asp

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Medical Humor:
http://www.swcbc.com/medical.html

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, Facebook/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

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It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical
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A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.

A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

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A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye

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Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going

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He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm

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Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible

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Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm

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Nuns Are Not Spinsters, Religious Jokes, Operating Room Humor:"A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/spinsters

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Pre-op Examination, Operating Room, OR Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pre

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining

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Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/

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Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Sunday, December 2, 2007

A Doctor & Nurse and a Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

 

Download and enjoy all our jokes! Visit

http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

 

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A Doctor & Nurse and a Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor

http://www.nursinghumor.com/shredder

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A nurse was leaving the hospital one evening when she found the doctor standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

 

"Listen", said the doctor, "this is important and my assistant has left. Can you make this thing work?"

 

"Certainly", said the nurse, flattered that the doctor had asked her for help.

 

She turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

 

"Excellent! Excellent!" said the doctor as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

 

"I need two copies of that"

 

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More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

 

Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

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Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam

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Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/need

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Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/late

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The Circumcision, Medical Jokes, Kids Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/circumcision

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted

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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

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How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/how

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Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf

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She Didn't Make It, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:

http://www.nursinghumor.com/it

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New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."

http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary

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To subscribe to our:

 

Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:

Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.nursefriendly.com

 

Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.

Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.nursinghumor.com

 

Clinical Nursing Cases:

Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.nursingcasestudy.com

 

Inspirational Stories:

Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com

http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

 

Any questions, please drop me a line.  To chat, we are “Nursefriendly” on aol or 6116137 on ICQ.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Andrew Lopez, RN

Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.

38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051

http://www.nursefriendly.com  info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly

856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

 

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

 

http://www.4nursing.com

http://www.4nursingstudents.com

http://www.4travelnursing.com

http://www.jocularity.com

http://www.lopez1.com

http://www.nursinga2z.com

http://www.nursingdiscussions.com

http://www.nursinghumor.com

http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com

http://www.nursingexperts.com

 

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

To read our newest, visit http://www.4nursing.com/blog

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Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/docisms


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What doctors say & What they mean

This should be taken care of right away
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself

Welllllll, what have we here...?
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue

Let me check your medical history
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you

Why don't we make another appointment later in the week
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
OR
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

We have some good news and some bad news

The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

Let's see how it develops
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured


Let me schedule you for some tests
I have a forty percent interest in the lab


I'd like to have my associate look at you
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle


I'd like to prescribe a new drug
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig

If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call
I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

That's quite a nasty looking wound
I think I'm going to throw up

This may smart a little
Last week two patients bit off their tongues

Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?
I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

This should fix you up
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff

Everything seems to be normal Rats!
I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

I'd like to run some more tests
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?
You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...

There is a lot of that going around
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.
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More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing

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A Really Serious Mistake, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted famous doctor was asked by a reporter:"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistake

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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Contraceptive Jelly, Birth Control Jokes, Patient Education Humor:"A young girl is getting married, so she goes to her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on the diaphragm."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/jelly

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Cost of A Screw, Medical Jokes, Operating Room, Surgical Humor:"A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screw

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Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/too

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Doctor's Fee, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"An elderly man has just moved to a new town, when he is taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor. In the doctor's waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor is a specialist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fee

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Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician (EMT, EMS) Jokes, Paramedic Humor

http://www.nursinghumor.com/mcanns

Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise.

In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene.

Approximately 98% of physicians volunteering assistance are intoxicated, don't really want to volunteer in the first place, but are afraid of looking bad in front of their spouses and friends, who naturally expect them to offer assistance.

In light of rule No.3, invite them to help in some harmless but important-seeming activity. Run an ECG strip and ask them to "interpret" it, or hand them a spare stethoscope and ask them to "assess breath sounds ". Give them a face-saving way out.

If the physician is really starting to annoy you or interferes with treatment protocols, advise him/her that they must accompany the patient to the receiving hospital, in the ambulance. Allow them to advise their family and friends to which hospital the ambulance is going to. Then enroute (code 3 ) (10-30) change your destination.

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More Paramedic, First Responder, Ambulance Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/paramedic

The 10 (+) Rules Of EMS, First Responder Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Skin signs tell all. 2. Sick people don't bitch. 3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ems

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Top Ten Lies Told by Paramedics, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Its not my fault, he kept moving. 2. This might stick a little."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lies

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Top Ten Uses for Activated Charcoal, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"10. Give 50mg PO to your overdose patient and watch them add a new Holstein motif to your truck. 9. Use as dress up makeup for Cinco de Mayo."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charcoal

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Wishing For Smarts, Nursing Jokes, EMS Humor:"Three nurses are walking along the beach when they find an old lamp. One of the nurses rubs the lamp and out pops a genie! "For freeing me, I'll give each of you one wish," announces the genie."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/smarts

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See Also:

Cranky Chick: EMS Archives:"I once worked a night shift with a paramedic who, when referencing the mapbook to navigate our ambulance to an emergency, began striking himself in the head with the book when he became overcome with the stress of having to tell me how to get to our call. These are heavy, THICK notebooks with pages and pages of maps representing every corner of the county inside. Over and over, he kept striking himself in the forehead with the book, chastising himself with, "Think, damnit! Think!"
http://www.crankychick.net/blog/weblog/archives/cat_ems.html

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EMSresource.net, EMS Humor and Other Fun Stuff:"Life's tragedies can best be handled if we stop and laugh every now and then. But not everyone enjoys the same type of humor, so be careful what you laugh about in mixed company!"
http://emsresource.net/fun.shtml

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com