Showing posts with label hospital jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospital jokes. Show all posts

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor

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10. The man who snuck in three cats to visit his asthmatic mother.

9. The visitor who ate all his father's food, then rang the nurse to say that the patient was still hungry and needed another tray.

8. The wife who asked you to take her stroked-out husband to the bathroom whenever SHE really was the one who had to go.

7. The son who emptied his mother's colostomy bag into the wastebasket.

6. The husband who fell asleep in the patient's bed while his wife was in the bathroom.

5. The wife who discontinued her husband's central line herself, because “John likes to sleep on his right side.”

4. The 80 year-old daughter of the 98 year old man, who kept turning off her father's continuous gastric feeding because, "He never eats this much a home."

3. The children of one patient who insisted upon using their mother's portable IPPB machine as a scooter in the hallway.

2. The husband who kept sneaking in chocolates for his newly diagnosed diabetic wife.

1. The man who never actually visited his mother, but called twelve times every shift to criticize the nurses, the doctors, the food, and anything else that came to mind.

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Five Minutes

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

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Peek-A-Boo

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)

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Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

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A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick

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How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/

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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

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HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues

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Medical Office Bartering, Nursing Cartoons, Medical Comics, Doctor Jokes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/bartering/
Categories: Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/bedside/
Doctor Jokes, Medical, Patient, Hospital Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/
HMO Jokes, Health Maintenance Organization Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/hmo/
Nursing Cartoons, Medical Comics, Healthcare , http://www.nursinghumor.com/cartoons/
On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/employment/

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New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password

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Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance

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Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html

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Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html

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Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html

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Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."

9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases

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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into

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Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend

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Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm

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The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

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Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst

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Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

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The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion

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Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell

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How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm

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Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

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The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm

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Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm

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Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine

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Top Ten Reasons To Date A Nurse! Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"White scrubs are see through. We asses all areas of the body. Scrubs make for easy access."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/date

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To subscribe to our:

Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:

Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com
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Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.

Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
http://lists.topica.com/lists/nursingjokes/

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Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com
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Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

The Uniform Resource Locator (URL) or Internet Street Address of this page is
http://nursinghumor.com/worst

Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Friday, April 1, 2011


This Page is Part of The Nursefriendly National Nursing A To Z & Consumer Health Directories

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Nursefriendly, Inc.
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This website Is © Copyright 1997 - 2011, Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly, Inc. Please contact us for permission to reproduce.
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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
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856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

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Sunday, November 28, 2010

You know you’re a CNA when…

How do you know you’re a CNA?

See if you recognize yourself in the following tongue-in-cheek list, compiled by a former CNA who’s been there, done that.


1. You never leave home without your back brace and gait belt.
2. You change more linens than a hotel maid.
3. You have at least 20 sets of adoptive grandparents.
4. You keep up with the number of BMs your family has.
5. The beds in your home are made with “hospital corners.”
6. You can easily feed three or more people at one time.
7. You don’t get grossed out by what you find in adult briefs.
8. You can find 101+ uses for towels, sheets and pillowcases.
9. When your spouse holds your hand, you catch yourself doing range-of-motion exercises.
10. You tell your spouse that he/she is facing the wrong way at the wrong time in bed.

More like this:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/cna/
--

Any questions, please drop me a line.

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor

Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
"You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said.
"Go home and show her you're the boss."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/psychiatric.jokes.mental.health/firm.advice.htm

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To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

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See also: Mental Health Articles, Mental Health Law, Mental Health, Psychiatric Associations, Direct Psychiatric Patient Care, Psychiatric Nurses

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Are You Insane? Psychiatric Jokes, Mental Health Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insane

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Concerned Mother, Psychiatric Jokes, Prescription Drug Humor:"The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/concerned

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Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/advice

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Going Blind, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych

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Hung Up To Dry, Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dry

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Listening Tips, Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor:"Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/listening

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Most Difficult Psych Case, Psychiatric Jokes, Patient Humor:"Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over dinner, one asked the other, "So, tell me, what was your most difficult case?"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/case

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Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions

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Psychiatric Hotline, Mental Health Humor, Psychiatric Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hotline

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Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark

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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Nurses Daily Dose - Daily Dose of Hospital Humor

Nurses Daily Dose - Daily Dose of Hospital Humor:"I had a 97-year-old terminally ill patient. I walked into his room for an assessment and asked him "how do you feel?" Without even a pause, he said "with my hands, what about you?"
http://www.nursesdailydose.com/



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Burnout (Nursing)
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Gifts For Nurses
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Hospitals, Medical Centers
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Long Term Care, Nursing Homes
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Malpractice Cases
Medical Centers, Hospitals
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Medical Humor, Nursing Jokes
Medication Errors, Drug Administration & Support
Men in Nursing
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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, Facebook/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

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Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor

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It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical
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A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.

A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

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A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye

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Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going

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He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm

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Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible

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Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm

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Nuns Are Not Spinsters, Religious Jokes, Operating Room Humor:"A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/spinsters

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Pre-op Examination, Operating Room, OR Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pre

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining

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Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

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