Showing posts with label medical jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medical jokes. Show all posts

Monday, July 12, 2010

Emergency Department Glossary, Medical Terminology Humor, Emergency Department Jokes

Emergency Department Glossary, Medical Terminology Humor, Emergency Department Jokes:"Angioplasty: A type of modeling clay used in primary schools. Atropine: A tall, evergreen coniferous tree found growing exclusively on the densely wooded slopes of rural Atro, near Bulgaria. Blood Culture: The Aztecs. Or possibly the Mayans."
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/emergency.department.er.medical.terminology.htm

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Monday, March 1, 2010

The Physician's Mistress, Doctor Jokes, Divorce Humor

http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistress Follow us on:
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Doctor Goldstein and his wife are having dinner at an upscale restaurant
when an attractive young blonde walks by, smiles at the Doctor and says "Hi
Sammy".

The wife, somewhat irritated, asks "And who is that?".

Dr. says "That's my Mistress."

Wife asks "You have a Mistress? How long has this been going on?"

Dr... "About five years."

Wife... "Five years? I'll see a lawyer tomorrow and start a divorce.
You'll be ruined."

Dr... "Now think about it. If we divorce, we each get half of what we
have. You won't have that big house, won't get a new Beamer every year and
won't be shopping and playing bridge all day with your so called friends."

Just then a cute red head walks by and says "Hi Sammy."

Wife... "And who is that one?"

Dr... "That's Bill Grant's Mistress."

Wife... "Doctor Grant has a Mistress too?"

Dr.... "About twelve years now."

Wife... "Ours is a lot prettier."

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A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing

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A Really Serious Mistake, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted famous doctor was asked by a reporter:"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistake

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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Contraceptive Jelly, Birth Control Jokes, Patient Education Humor:"A young girl is getting married, so she goes to her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on the diaphragm."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/jelly

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Cost of A Screw, Medical Jokes, Operating Room, Surgical Humor:"A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screw

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Diving Right In, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/psychiatric.jokes.nursing.humor.diving.right.in.htm

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Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/too

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Doctor's Fee, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"An elderly man has just moved to a new town, when he is taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor. In the doctor's waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor is a specialist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fee

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Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

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Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam

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Excess Weight, Medical Jokes, Obesity Humor:"Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you're carrying around," the doctor asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weight

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Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye

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Feed Him Toast, Pediatrics Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/feed

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Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted

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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

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Going Blind, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych

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Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going

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Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible

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Immunization Etiquette, Pediatric Jokes, Vaccination Humor:"While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/etiquette

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New Arrival, Medical Jokes, Organ Transplant Humor:"A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/arrival

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New Ears, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ears

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Observation Skills, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:"A lecturer in a Medical school was tutoring a class on 'Observation.' He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/observation

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Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue

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Pre-op Examination, Operating Room, OR Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pre

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Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed

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Three Times A Week, Doctors Jokes, Marriage Humor:"

An elderly woman went to the doctor for a check up. After examining her and checking her cardiovascular activity, the doctor recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/three

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Treating A Cold, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold. "Have you seen a doctor about that cold?" he asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/treating

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Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/need

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Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/late

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The Circumcision, Medical Jokes, Kids Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/circumcision

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How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/how

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Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf

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She Didn't Make It, Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/it

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Met Professionally, Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/professionally

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New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary

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Auto Enthusiast, Surgeon Jokes, Medical Humor:"A 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/auto

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Blind Drunk, Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/drunk

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Stern Sibling, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Sibling Humor:"An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stern

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Last Words, Doctor Jokes, Priest Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/last

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Quick Diagnosis, Doctor Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/diagnosis

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Come Quick! Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/quick

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Taking Notes, Doctor Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/notes

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Fine Art, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/art

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Healthcare Dollars, Medical Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"In reviewing how our healthcare dollars are spent, the following statistics were revealed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dollars

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Medical Bloopers Found In Patient Charts, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/bloopers

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Skin Graft, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A married couple were in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/graft

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Big Words, Children's Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/words

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Small, Medium or Large? Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medium

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Bad News, Worse News, Medical Jokes, Geriatric Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/news

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A Future Physician, Medical Jokes, Parenting Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/future

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Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions

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Sun Burn Treatment, Medical Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/sun

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The Good News, The Bad News, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/good/

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Isolation Precautions, Infection Control Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/isolation

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Not Good Looking, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/looking

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Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/practical

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This Won't Hurt Much, Medical Jokes, Military Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/much

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Common Forms of Office Illness, On The Job Jokes, Medical Humor,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/illness

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Coffee and Viagra, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/viagra

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Rusty Tools, Viagra Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-viagra-marriage-rusty-tools.html

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Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining

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Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark

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The Business Trip, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-medical-doctor-patient-jokes-business-trip.html

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Sex Therapy, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.sex.therapy.htm

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Post-Op Blues, Medical Jokes, Anesthesiology Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.post.op.blues.htm

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A Star In The East, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.a.star.in.the.east.htm

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The Forgetful Patient, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/the.forgetful.patient.htm

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Doctor's Funeral, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.doctors.funeral.htm

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Buying Condoms, Pharmacy Jokes, Infidelity Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/condoms

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Odds & Ends, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.odds.and.ends.htm

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Heart Transplant, Organ Donation Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.heart.transplant.htm

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Passing Wind, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.passing.wind.htm

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Removing Patches, Medications Jokes, Pharmacy Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.removing.patches.htm

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Top Ten Reasons For Becoming An Anesthesiologist, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/anesthesiologist

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Screwed Up Laboratory Results, Medical Jokes, Laboratory Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screwed

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Taxonomy of Medical Professionals, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.taxonomy.of.medical.professionals.htm

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The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

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Approving The New Hospital Policy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.approving.the.new.hospital.policy.htm

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Patient Confidentiality, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.patient.confidentiality.htm

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Five Benefits of Mothers Milk, Breastfeeding Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.five.benefits.of.mothers.milk.htm

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Arkansas Medical Definitions, Medical Terminology Jokes, Redneck Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

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Anyone Need A Doctor? Medical Jokes, First Aid Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

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A Cure For One Man's Cough, Medical Jokes, Drug & Pharmacy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/cough/

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Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

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Viagra Variations, Drug & Medications Jokes, Prescription Medicine Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/drugs.prescriptions.medications.medicines.viagra.variations.htm

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A Grandmother's Insomnia, Doctor's Jokes, Pregnancy & Medications Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insomnia

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Shooting Blanks, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.shooting.blanks.htm

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I Think My Wife Is Going Deaf, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.jokes.humor.my.wife.is.going.deaf.htm

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A Doctor, A Nurse And A Shredder, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.jokes.humor.a.doctor.a.nurse.and.a.shredder.htm

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He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm

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Near Death Experience, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/near.death.experiences.plastic.surgeries.htm

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The Aspirin And The Job Interview, Medical Jokes, On The Job Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/interview

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A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work

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Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

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Perfect Shape Considering Your Age, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.perfect.shape.considering.your.age.htm

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Six Months To Live, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/six.months.to.live.htm

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It Hurts All Over, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://nursinghumor.com/hurts

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Actual Medical Quotes From Patient Charts, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/actual.medical.quotes.from.charts.htm

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First Proctology Exam, Medical Humor, Doctors Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/first.proctology.exam.htm

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A Short History Of Medicine, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/a.short.history.of.medicine.htm

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Anyone For Pasta, Medical Jokes, Marriage & Infidelity Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pasta

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A Cure For One Man's Stuttering:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical/a.cure.for.one.mans.stuttering.htm

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The Best Thing, Doctor Jokes, Patient Humor:"David wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/thing

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Breastfeeding Technical Support, Medical Jokes, Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/breastfeeding

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Dehydration, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/dehydration.htm

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The Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/the.difference.between.doctors.and.veterinarians.htm

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Five Doctors Go Duck Hunting
http://www.nursinghumor.com/duck

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Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm

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McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise.

In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mcanns

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My Elbow Hurts!
http://www.nursinghumor.com/elbow

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Professional Courtesy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/professional.courtesy.htm

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Screening Medical Students
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screening

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The Doctor's Visit, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/doctors

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Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/operation

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Who Can Read This? Doctor's Handwriting, Medical Humor:"Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's fashion? The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/read

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Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/

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You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if..., Medical Jokes, Emergency Humor:"1) Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion. 2) Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you. 3) You think that caffeine should be available in IV form. 4) You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/erdoc

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DoctorFunnyWoman.com:"The DoctorFunnyWoman.com website is owned and operated by Ayodele Olugbemi,MD (pseudonym: Adele Obemi). A physician with specialist training in Family practice and Ob/Gyn, she has a special interest in women's and children's health. A member of the Royal College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists as well as the Royal College of General Practitioners (of the United Kingdom), she holds a Diploma in Child Health and a Diploma of the Faculty of Family Planning (UK) and is a Diplomate of the American Board of Family Practice."
doctorfunnywoman@hotmail.com
http://www.doctorfunnywoman.com

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GDU College of Medical Fraud:"GDU refuses to offer a degree in medicine out of concern that some cost-conscious hospital will hire someone with one of our diplomas, and let them perform surgery. However,GDU does offer programs in medically-related fields"
http://www.bandersnatch.com/med.htm

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Medindia.net, Medical Humor:
http://www.medindia.net/Humour/humourindex.asp

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Medical Humor:
http://www.swcbc.com/medical.html

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Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
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Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

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It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical
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A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.

A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

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A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye

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Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going

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He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm

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Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible

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Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm

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Nuns Are Not Spinsters, Religious Jokes, Operating Room Humor:"A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/spinsters

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Pre-op Examination, Operating Room, OR Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pre

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining

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Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/

******************************************************

******************************************************

Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

******************************************************
Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell
******************************************************

A doctor dies and goes to hell.

The devil greets him and tells him that since he was doctor, and did some good that he could choose his eternity.

The devil opens the first door, there are doctors hanging from their ankles being whipped by demons.

"Oh my God, I don't want that", the doctor replies.

The devil opens a second door to reveal doctors on fire being chased by huge beasts.

"That one is even worse!" says the doctor, getting more nervous.

The devil opens a third door to reveal doctors in lounge chairs being served tropical drinks by gorgeous, scantily clad nurses.

"Sign me up for that eternity!" the doctor states.

The devil then slams that door and says, "You can't go there, you weren't supposed to see that."

The doctor states why can't I go there?

The devil replies, "Well.... that's nurse hell."

******************************************************
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******************************************************

Five Minutes

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

******************************************************

Peek-A-Boo

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)

******************************************************

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

******************************************************

A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

******************************************************

A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick

******************************************************

How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

******************************************************

Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

******************************************************

Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/

******************************************************

Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

******************************************************

HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues

******************************************************

New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password

******************************************************

Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance

******************************************************

Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html

******************************************************

Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html

******************************************************

Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html

******************************************************

Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."

9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend

******************************************************

Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm

******************************************************

The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

******************************************************

Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst

******************************************************

Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

******************************************************

The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion

******************************************************

Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell

******************************************************

How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm

******************************************************

Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

******************************************************

The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm

******************************************************

Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm

******************************************************

Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine

******************************************************

******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Monday, January 7, 2008

Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

Did you know, you can download all our jokes? Visit http://www.nursinghumor.com/archive

******************************************************
Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed
******************************************************

A man was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories.

A week later the man complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.

"Have you been taking them regularly?" The doctor asked.

"What do you think I've been doing," the man said, "Shoving them up my butt?"

******************************************************
******************************************************
******************************************************

Five Minutes

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

******************************************************

Peek-A-Boo

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)

******************************************************

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

******************************************************

A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

******************************************************

A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick

******************************************************

How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went

******************************************************

Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

******************************************************

Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/

******************************************************

Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/

******************************************************

HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues

******************************************************

New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password

******************************************************

Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance

******************************************************

Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html

******************************************************

Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html

******************************************************

Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html

******************************************************

Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."

9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into

******************************************************

Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend

******************************************************

Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm

******************************************************

The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm

******************************************************

Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst

******************************************************

Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/

******************************************************

Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances

******************************************************

The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion

******************************************************

Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell

******************************************************

How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm

******************************************************

Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm

******************************************************

The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm

******************************************************

Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm

******************************************************

Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine

******************************************************

******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com