Nursefriendly.com

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Crossmap.com

http://www.nursinghumor.com

Crossmap.com:"Crossmap.com is an organization running since 2000 for the purpose of serving the Christian community as a web portal. We aim to gather the Christian content on the internet and to organize so that it is easily accessible to all Christians. This is done for the greater purpose of winning the internet and to allow it to be used for God's glory. We strive to attain this goal through our system of search engines, directories, and our directly provided Christian content. The corporate headquarters is located in San Francisco, CA:"
Crossmap.com
631 Howard St.
San Francisco, CA 94104
http://jokes.crossmap.com/

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Two Gifts For Adam & Eve, Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

To read our newest, visit http://www.4nursing.com/blog

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Two Gifts For Adam & Eve, Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/two
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One day The Lord came to Adam, and said, "I've got some good news and some bad news."
Adam said, "Well, give me the good news first."

The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you.
One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.
The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."

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More Battle of The Sexes Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle/

Are You The Manager? Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Bartender Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/manager

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A Woman's Random Thoughts, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/random

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Before And After Love, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:"BEFORE - You take my breath away AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/before

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Brand New Hat, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:"There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hat

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Creation of Man, Adam & Eve Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Eve was talking with God in the Garden of Eden, and she said, "God I have a problem. It's a beautiful garden, but I'm lonely and I'm sick of eating apples." "Okay. I'll create a man for you.""
http://www.nursinghumor.com/creation

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Definitely Warm, Battle of The Sexes Jokes & Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/warm

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Dressing Up, On The Job Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"There was this rich woman who lives in a large mansion. One day she comes upon the butler and says "butler take off my blouse"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dressing

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Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam

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Feel Like A Woman, Marriage Jokes, Parenting Humor:"A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm. The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightning. The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and that they are all going to die."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/feel

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Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted

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New Secretary, Doctor's Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Dr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/secretary

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Pay Raise, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Employment Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/raise

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Rules That Guys Wish Women Knew, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/rules

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Ultimate Fantasy! Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fantasy

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Useless Boob, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relgious Humor:"And God created woman and she had three breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/useless

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Monday, April 2, 2007

An Hour of Your Time, Fatherhood Poems, Parenting Stories

To subscribe, send a blank email to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com

To read our newest, visit http://www.4nursing.com/blog

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An Hour of Your Time, Fatherhood Poems, Parenting Stories:
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/hour

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A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door. "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the man.
"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?
"That's none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.
"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."
"Oh," the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"
The father was furious. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish games."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. How dare him ask such questions only to get some money.
After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00, and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep son?" he asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man. "It's been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's that $10.00 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you daddy!" he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.
"Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.
"Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"
Share some time with those who need you. They need our time more then we will ever know.
Author unknown

Choose more poems, inspirational stories by category:
Nursing Stories, Nurse Tales, Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nursing
A to Z Inspirational Stories List
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/alpha
Affection, Caring, Friendship
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/affection
Ambition, Determination, Persistence, Resiliency
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/ambition
Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/angels
Animals, Pets, God's Creatures
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/animals
Children, Babies, Infants, Kids
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/children
Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/death
Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Sorrow
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grief
Virtues, Dependability, Honesty, Reliability
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/virtues
More categories, http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor

To subscribe send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

To read our newest, visit http://www.4nursing.com/blog

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Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/docisms

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What doctors say & What they mean

This should be taken care of right away
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself

Welllllll, what have we here...?
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue

Let me check your medical history
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you

Why don't we make another appointment later in the week
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
OR
I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

We have some good news and some bad news

The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

Let's see how it develops
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured

Let me schedule you for some tests
I have a forty percent interest in the lab

I'd like to have my associate look at you
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle

I'd like to prescribe a new drug
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig

If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call
I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

That's quite a nasty looking wound
I think I'm going to throw up

This may smart a little
Last week two patients bit off their tongues

Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?
I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

This should fix you up
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff

Everything seems to be normal Rats!
I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

I'd like to run some more tests
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?
You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me ...

There is a lot of that going around
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.
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More Medical Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical

A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing

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A Really Serious Mistake, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted famous doctor was asked by a reporter:"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistake

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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

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Contraceptive Jelly, Birth Control Jokes, Patient Education Humor:"A young girl is getting married, so she goes to her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on the diaphragm."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/jelly

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Cost of A Screw, Medical Jokes, Operating Room, Surgical Humor:"A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/screw

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Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/too

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Doctor's Fee, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"An elderly man has just moved to a new town, when he is taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor. In the doctor's waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor is a specialist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fee

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Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.4nursing.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL “nursefriendly”
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Beatitudes For The Home, Religious Poems, Touching Stories of Love & Marriage

To subscribe, send a blank email to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com

To read our newest, visit http://www.4nursing.com/blog

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Beatitudes For The Home, Religious Poems, Touching Stories of Love & Marriage
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/home

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BLESSED are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate and considerate, loving after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.

BLESSED are the husband and wife who are as polite and courteous to one another as they are to their friends.

BLESSED are they who have a sense of humor, for this attribute will be a handy shock absorber.

BLESSED are they who love their mates more than any other person in the world and who joyfully fulfill their marriage vows of lifetime of fidelity and mutual helpfulness to one another.

BLESSED are they who attain parenthood, for children are a heritage of the Lord.

BLESSED are they who remember to thank God for their food before they partake of it, and who set apart some time each day for the reading of the Bible and for prayer.

BLESSED are those mates who never speak loudly to one another and who make their home a place where "seldom is heard a discouraging word."

BLESSED are the husband and wife who faithfully attend the worship service of the church and who work together in the church for the advancement of Christ's Kingdom.

BLESSED are the husband and wife who can work out problems of adjustments without interference from relatives.

BLESSED is the couple who has a complete understanding about financial matters and who has worked out a perfect partnership with all money under the control of both.

BLESSED are the husband and wife who humbly dedicate their lives and their home to Christ and who practice the teachings of Christ in the home by being unselfish, loyal, and loving.

Author unknown

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Choose more poems, inspirational stories by category:

Nursing Stories, Nurse Tales, Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nursing

A to Z Inspirational Stories List
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/alpha

Affection, Caring, Friendship
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/affection

Ambition, Determination, Persistence, Resiliency
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/ambition

Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/angels

Animals, Pets, God's Creatures
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/animals

Children, Babies, Infants, Kids
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/children

Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/death

Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Sorrow
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grief

Virtues, Dependability, Honesty, Reliability
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/virtues

More categories, http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

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McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician (EMT, EMS) Jokes, Paramedic Humor

http://www.nursinghumor.com/mcanns

Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise.

In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene.

Approximately 98% of physicians volunteering assistance are intoxicated, don't really want to volunteer in the first place, but are afraid of looking bad in front of their spouses and friends, who naturally expect them to offer assistance.

In light of rule No.3, invite them to help in some harmless but important-seeming activity. Run an ECG strip and ask them to "interpret" it, or hand them a spare stethoscope and ask them to "assess breath sounds ". Give them a face-saving way out.

If the physician is really starting to annoy you or interferes with treatment protocols, advise him/her that they must accompany the patient to the receiving hospital, in the ambulance. Allow them to advise their family and friends to which hospital the ambulance is going to. Then enroute (code 3 ) (10-30) change your destination.

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More Paramedic, First Responder, Ambulance Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/paramedic

The 10 (+) Rules Of EMS, First Responder Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Skin signs tell all. 2. Sick people don't bitch. 3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ems

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Top Ten Lies Told by Paramedics, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Its not my fault, he kept moving. 2. This might stick a little."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lies

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Top Ten Uses for Activated Charcoal, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"10. Give 50mg PO to your overdose patient and watch them add a new Holstein motif to your truck. 9. Use as dress up makeup for Cinco de Mayo."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charcoal

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Wishing For Smarts, Nursing Jokes, EMS Humor:"Three nurses are walking along the beach when they find an old lamp. One of the nurses rubs the lamp and out pops a genie! "For freeing me, I'll give each of you one wish," announces the genie."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/smarts

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

International Ask A Nurse Resources

http://www.4nursing.com/ask

Nursing - Ask an Expert! Kasamba.com:" Administration, Cardiology, Counseling, Diabetes, Education, Fitness, Home Health, ICU, IV Therapy, Mental Health, Oncology, Pediatrics, Practical Nurse, Public Health, Registered Nurse, Rehabilitation, Senior Health, Stress Management, Supervision, Surgery"
http://www.kasamba.com/view.asp?catid=504&banid=1366

Med-help.com, Med-help.net ($13.95 Tax-Deductible? donation required):"If you have a specific medical need that requires searching multiple medical sites on the internet for: Medical related information, Medical Pictures, or Medical Videos, Ask The Nurse will take that burden away from you. We understand that searching the Internet for information on a particular condition or disease can be very time consuming. We will do the searching for you along with a Nurse ready to answer your questions, leaving you free to take care of other business instead of looking all over the Internet for answers to your medical questions. If it is Videos, News, Medication Information, or if you just need Medical Links to specific sites for your own browsing , Ask The Nurse will find the information that you need and present it to you with our Nurses ready to help you if you have questions.
http://www.med-help.net/Ask-The-Nurses.html

Vhi Healthcare, Ireland:"The "Ask the Nurse" service provides access to general, non-diagnostic health information via: • Email Your Query - Request up-to-date facts on general health matters using the query form below. • Call Me Back - Request a health professional from the HealthLine to call you at a convenient time for you."
https://www.vhihealthe.com/nurse/

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National Ask A Nurse Resources

National Ask A Nurse Resources:

http://www.4nursing.com/ask

ASK-A-NURSE, McKesson Health Solutions LLC.:"ASK-A-NURSE is the trademark name for telehealth services provided by registered nurses. Telehealth services include the telephone, Internet, electronic mail (email) and/or facsimile (fax). A consumer or patient may contact an ASK-A-NURSE call center to talk with a registered nurse about their symptoms. The nurse will assess the symptoms and provide advice on seeking care and improving symptoms. ASK-A-NURSE call centers answer healthcare questions, and give physician referrals. ASK-A-NURSE call centers also provide information about hospital and community services as well as wellness classes."
http://www.ask-a-nurse.com/

Ask a healthcare professional. eCureMe.com:"No more long waits on the phone or at the doctor's office. We'll connect you with a physician or therapist immediately. Through email or video, eConsult Live provides you with quick, easy and affordable access to medical advice and lifestyle counseling. Just click into one of the programs below."
eCureMe.com: 909 S. Gramercy Place Los Angeles, CA 90019
Tel: 323.731.9200 Fax: 323.386.0078 Email: info@eCureMe.com
http://www.ecureme.com/econsultlive/splash/econsultlive_splash.asp

National, State Nurse (Nursing) Organizations, http://www.4nursing.com/associations/

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Arizona Ask A Nurse Services

Arizona Ask A Nurse Services:

http://www.4nursing.com/ask

Ask The Nurse, Arizona Center for Fertility Studies, Arizona:The Nurse will personally respond to your questions in 5 to 7 working days. If you would like written information please see the E-mail page. Please make your questions as specific as possible and include a breif history if appropriate."
8997 E. Desert Cove Ave. 2nd fl Scottsdale, AZ 85260
phone:(480) 860-4792 fax:(480) 860-6819
http://www.acfs2000.com/html/asknurse.html

Arizona Nursing Resources, http://www.4nursing.com/arizona

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Florida Ask A Nurse Services

Florida Ask A Nurse Services:

http://www.4nursing.com/ask

Florida Hospital ASK-A-NURSE®:"ASK-A-NURSE allows you to speak confidentially with a registered nurse who can evaluate any symptoms you or a family member may have, enabling you to determine the most appropriate action for care. The nurses use an extensive computerized database that contains a wealth of medical information and guidelines to assist you with your health concerns. "
http://www.flhosp.org/services/aan/index.htm

Ask A Nurse, Florida Hospital's Healthcare Information Center:"Florida Hospital's Healthcare Information Center is dedicated to giving you and your family precise health care information through a variety of free telephone information services 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All you have to do is pick up the telephone and call one number. Call 303-1700 in Orange and Seminole Counties or in Osceola County call 870-1700."
http://www.flhosp.org/services/aan/index.htm

Florida Nursing Resources, http://www.4nursing.com/florida/

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Nursefriendly.com

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Crossmap.com

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Two Gifts For Adam & Eve, Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor

Monday, April 2, 2007

An Hour of Your Time, Fatherhood Poems, Parenting Stories

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor

Beatitudes For The Home, Religious Poems, Touching Stories of Love & Marriage

McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician (EMT, EMS) Jokes, Paramedic Humor

Sunday, March 18, 2007

International Ask A Nurse Resources

National Ask A Nurse Resources

Arizona Ask A Nurse Services

Florida Ask A Nurse Services

Blog Archive

Contact Us

About Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly.com

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