Showing posts with label Dying at Home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dying at Home. Show all posts

Sunday, December 11, 2011

#Hospice, Death, Dying, #EndofLife, #Palliative Care, @hospiceheroes @terirnbsn @theyoganurse @nursewingpoems #nursefriendly

The Shortcut URL To This Section Is: http://www.4nursing.com/hospice/

See also: Hospice Nurses

Inspirational Categories: Bereavement, Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Parents & Parenting, Religious Poems, Christian Stories

New!

Gwenn Dalton, RN, Pro Hospice Solutions, LLC:"Pro Hospice Solutions, LLC understands that care is more than tending to the physical end of life; it is a way of caring for the patient, their family, and support group. Through our community outreach programs, continuing nursing education and continuing education workshops, we empower those care givers and end of life professionals with the ability to advance quality of life and to accept the gift of providing a compassionate end of life for their patient or loved one."
Gwenn Dalton, RN
CEO Pro Hospice Solutions, LLC
P.O. Box 327
Moody, TX 76557
254-853-9903 (office) / 254-853-9966 (fax)
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pro-Hospice-Solutions-LLC/220348904701791
Twitter: http://twitter.com/HospiceHeroes
http://www.prohospicesolutions.com/

Categories: Continuing Education,http://www.nursefriendly.com/ceu/
Facebook Nurses,http://www.nursingdiscussions.com/facebook/ Nursing Education, http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com/education/
Hospice Nursing, http://www.4nursing.com/hospice/
Texas Nurse Entrepreneurs, http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com/texas/
Texas Nurses, http://www.4nursing.com/texas/
Twitter Nurses, http://www.nursingdiscussions.com/twitter/

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Teri Yarbrough, RN
Gainesville, GA, United States
I am a Travel Nurse specializing in Hospice. I grew up in a Navy family spending time in Guam, Iceland, & Italy. Then married my husband who was a sailor. I have 3 children, Heather, 25; Bear, 23; & BJ (our 4 legged child, a chocolate lab)2. My faith in my Lord Jesus Christ helps get through each day & to minister to my patients. I had gastric bypass 9/11/06. Have lost 150lbs."
Blogger: http://www.blogger.com/profile/18090285584582869197
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/TeriRNBSN
http://www.realcaring.blogspot.com/

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Annette Tersigni RN, Yoga Nursing®:"I am the founder of Yoga Nurse Medical Yoga and Stress Management and am the creator of the enlightening new field of Yoga Nursing® and the Yoga Nursing Institute. Yoga Nursing is the marriage of modern nursing science with the ancient science of yoga. My programs are endorsed by lots of doctors and health care providers as a safe therapy to decrease pain and suffering and help folks to find peace instead of going to pieces. I have dedicated the past 16 years educating people around the world on leading healthier, spiritual lifestyles and with a dose of tough love and loads of laughter helped them to WAKE UP and GET CONSCIOUS NOW.

I am a sought after no barriers heart felt speaker, coach, teacher and writer and am featured extensively in the media including in the Associated Press and on NBC, CBS, Fox News affiliates and have been interviewed on national TV by Arielle Ford as one of America's Experts. I am producing, writing, and acting in several DVD documentary/educational projects: I am training and coaching other nurses, yoga teachers and health professionals throughout the USA and Canada to be Yoga Nursing Therapists and I lead fantabulous Yoga and Juice fasting Makeover Retreats on the magnificent Pyrate laden Crystal Coast of North Carolina. My programs our hip, conscious, filled with hilarious humor, enlightening and designed to inspire and leave a legacy. This is the most prolific, jamming and juicy time of my life and I get to do it all by serving others. SERVING RULES!"
Street Address: 103 short st apt. E
Beaufort, North Carolina, 28516
E-mail Address: theyoganurse@gmail.com
Phone: 252.725.1924
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=629639595&v=info
Homepage Address: http://www.yoganurse.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com/tersigni

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Tribute to a Hospice Nurse by E.V. Stankowski, RN, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"When it comes to death and dying
There's a special gift you share
One that Angels all admire
One that goes beyond just care

http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/hn

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Hospice, Palliative Care Nurses, Nurses for a Healthier Tomorrow/STTI:"The hospice movement has evolved in the United States over the past 25 years. The focus of hospice care is on comprehensive physical, psychosocial, emotional, and spiritual care to terminally ill persons and their families. Hospice providers promote quality of life by protecting patients from burdensome interventions and providing care at home, whenever possibly, instead of the hospital. Hospice nurses provide care primarily under the guidelines of the Medicare Benefit Act of 1983, a federal program that allows patients to die in their homes with their families and friends at their side."
Nurses for a Healthier Tomorrow/STTI
Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International
550 West North Street Indianapolis, IN 46202
bennison@stti.iupui.edu
http://www.nursesource.org/hospice.html


About.com: Death & Dying, Poetry, Blessings, Toasts, Quotes, Prayers and Words of Comfort:"Sometimes, it seems that all you need is the right quote, poem or inspirational message at the right moment to help provide perspective, insight and aid in surviving a loss or crisis. When coping with a death, a significant loss or crisis, it can help to read the words from others who have "been there," coped and survived. This section contains comforting poems and quotes that may be helpful when writing eulogies or obituaries, or used in memorial services, blessing helpful in the healing process, quotes about death and dying and famous last words."
http://dying.about.com/

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American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine Web:"Originally organized as the Academy of Hospice Physicians in 1988, the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (AAHPM) is the only organization in the United States for physicians dedicated to the advancement of hospice/palliative medicine, its practice, research and education."
4700 W. Lake Ave. Glenview, IL 60025-1485
(847)375-4712, tmckissack@amctec.com
http://www.aahpm.org/

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Aging with Dignity:"Something is terribly wrong: The majority of Americans want to die at home surrounded by family and friends, but most end up dying in the hospital or nursing home, cared for by strangers. Half of Americans die in pain that could have been treated. Sick people have come to fear losing their dignity or burdening their families more than they fear death. And this is all happening in a country that is meant to prize the rights of individuals and champion respect for personal wishes."
http://www.agingwithdignity.org/

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Choice In Dying...
...the nation's experts on end-of-life care Choice In Dying, the inventor of living wills in 1967, is dedicated to fostering communication about complex end-of-life decisions. The nonprofit organizat...
http://www.choices.org

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Hospice Patients Alliance: Consumer Advocates...
Hospice Patients Alliance is a consumer advocacy resource center for hospice patients, families, caregivers; promoting hospice patient rights, revealing what NO hospice will tell you; providing inform...
http://www.hospicepatients.org

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Perinatal Hospice/Supportive Care for the Dying Unborn Infant:"Perinatal hospice provides supportive care for parents and the infant with a serious or fatal birth defect both before and after birth. Most people think of hospice as applying to the elderly or at least adults. It has also been extended to children and even to babies. But it was Dr. Byron Calhoun of Madigan Army Hospital who developed the concept of perinatal hospice."
Supportive Care of the Dying: A Coalition for Compassionate Care Founded in 1994 c/o Providence Health System Sylvia McSkimming, PhD, RN, Executive Director
4805 NE Glisan Street,2E07 Portland, Oregon 97213
tel: (503) 215-5053 fax: (503) 215-5054 e-mail: Sylvia.McSkimming@providence.org
http://perinatalhospice.org/

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Africa, Hospice ...
Hospice Africa Charity No 1024903 Helping to establish Hospice Care in Africa The aims of Hospice Africa are to provide or support the provision of palliative care to terminally ill cancer patients i...
13 Pages Found, 1 Links Found, 551 Score, http://hospice-africa.merseyside.org

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American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine...
Originally organized as the Academy of Hospice Physicians in 1988, the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (AAHPM) is the only organization in the United States for physicians ...
32 Pages Found, 141 Links Found, 532 Score, http://www.aahpm.org

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American Board of Hospice and Palliative Medicine:"Working together, the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (AAHPM) and the American Board of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (ABHPM) achieved recognition for the subspecialty of hospice and palliative medicine by the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS) and the American Osteopathic Association (AOA). Beginning in 2008, cooperating boards within the ABMS will offer a subspecialty certificate in hospice and palliative medicine. A parallel certification will be offered by cooperating boards within the AOA. AAHPM will support ABHPM diplomates through the expiration of their ABHPM certificates."
American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine
4700 W. Lake Ave. Glenview, IL 60025
847/375-4712 Fax 847/375-6475 E-mail info@aahpm.org
http://www.aahpm.org

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American Hospice Management; Hospice Management Firm...
Since its founding in 1992 as the nation's first hospice management firm, AHM has grown to serve hospital-based, nursing home-based, and community-based hospice....
3 Pages Found, 0 Links Found, 1764 Score, http://www.americanhospice.com

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Arizona State, Hospice of the Valley...
Hospice of the Valley is celebrating 23 years of service in the valley.  Since 1977, we have served more than 32,000 patients ranging in age from newborns to over 100. ...
21 Pages Found, 7 Links Found, 183 Score, http://www.hov.org

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Arkansas Hospice Home Page...
    Enhancing the Quality of Life for the Terminally ill as a Charitable, Non-Profit Community Service Refer Donate Volunteer Get Involved About Arkansas Hospice In Home Care Hospice Center Care Get ...
32 Pages Found, 30 Links Found, 678 Score, http://www.arkansashospice.org

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Association for Death Education and Counseling:"The Association for Death Education and Counseling®, The Thanatology Association®, is one of the oldest interdisciplinary organizations in the field of dying, death and bereavement. Its nearly 2,000 members include a wide array of mental and medical health personnel, educators, clergy, funeral directors and volunteers. ADEC offers numerous educational opportunities through its annual conference, courses and workshops, its certification program, and via its acclaimed publication, The Forum."
ADEC Headquarters
111 Deer Lake Road, Suite 100
Deerfield, IL 60015 USA
Phone or Fax:
Phone 847-509-0403
Fax: 847-480-9282
http://www.adec.org

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Hospice of the Conejo:"Hospice of the Conejo is a team of caring people who are dedicated to providing a special blend of compassion and practical and emotional support to patients with life-limiting illnesses and to their families. Our focus is on living - helping people during the final stages of life to make the most of every hour. Our service area covers Thousand Oaks, Westlake Village, Newbury Park, Moorpark, Simi Valley, Agoura, Oak Park, and Calabasas, California. We are a non-profit agency and all services are provided free-of-charge."
Hospice of the Conejo, 80 East Hillcrest Dr., Thousand Oaks, CA (805)495-2145 hospice@adnetsol.com
http://www.hospiceoftheconejo.org

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Friday, April 22, 2011

More senior citizens are dying at home - Miami-Dade - MiamiHerald.com

jdorschner@MiamiHerald.com

After years of experts and patients saying people at the end of life might be more comfortable dying at home, a new study says that may finally be happening: fewer seniors in the United States and South Florida are dying in hospitals.

But the same survey finds that in the last months of life for seniors throughout the United States and especially in Miami, the trend is for more of them to see large numbers of specialists and to spend more time in expensive intensive care units.

Those are the results of the latest study from the Dartmouth Atlas, a project of the Dartmouth Medical School. The project for years has been using Medicare data to expose anomalies in healthcare costs and wide geographic disparities in expenses.

“Miami is practically off the charts,” says David Goodman, a Dartmouth researcher who was the lead author of the study. “It really continues to stand out” for having the highest costs and most extensive treatments in the last months of life, even when adjusted for age, ethnicity, race and severity of illness.

Click on the "via" link to read the full article.

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

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Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Good Death | What is a Good Death? | Getting Affairs in Order

Practical ways to help to ensure a "good death"

Poets, professors, priests, and plain folks all opine about what makes a "good death." In truth, deaths are nearly as unique as the lives that came before them -- shaped by the attitudes, physical conditions, medical treatments, and mix of people involved.

Still, many have pointed to a few common factors that can help a death seem good -- and even inspiring -- as opposed to frightening, sad, or tortuous. By most standards, a good death is one in which a person dies on his own terms, relatively free from pain, in a supported and dignified setting. Other things to consider:

Having affairs in order

Not everyone has the luxury of planning for death. But those who take the time and make the effort to think about their deaths during life and plan for some of the details of their final care and comfort are more apt to retain some control and say-so in their final months and days of life.

Legal specifics of such planning can include taking steps to get affairs in order by:

Controlling pain and discomfort

Most Americans say they would prefer to die at home, according to recent polls. Yet the reality is that three-quarters of the population dies in some sort of medical institution, many of them after spending time in an intensive care unit.

As life expectancies increase, more people are becoming proactive. A growing number of aging patients are choosing not to have life-prolonging treatments that might ultimately increase pain and suffering -- such as invasive surgery or dialysis -- and deciding instead to have comfort or palliative care through hospice in their final days.

Click on the "via" link for the rest of the article.

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Dealing with Death and Dying | Myths of Coping with Death | Caring.com

hands_held_hospital

People often adhere to a code of conduct about the end of life that's just not rooted in common sense or reality -- especially when it comes to how to talk to someone who's dying, in their final days or hours. Hospice nurse Maggie Callanan, who has attended more than 2,000 deaths, wrote her book Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life in order to take on these myths:

Myth: Don't cry in front of the dying.
They know you're sad. Having the courage to bare your emotions gives the dying person permission to be candid about his or her own feelings. Your tears are evidence of your love. And they can also be a relief to the person, telegraphing that you understand what's happening.

Myth: Keep the children away.
People often steer kids away from death so they'll remember the person in a good light and not be frightened. But most kids do well with simple explanations of what's happening; facts are usually less scary than their vivid imaginations. By cordoning off a child from a natural part of life, you also deprive the dying person of a beloved, comforting presence.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Quality of Death and Dying in Patients who Request Physician-Assisted Death - Journal of Palliative Medicine

Background: Physician-assisted death (PAD) was legalized in 1997 by Oregon's Death with Dignity Act (ODDA). Through 2009, 460 Oregonians have died by lethal prescription under the ODDA.

Objective: To determine whether there was a difference in the quality of the dying experience, from the perspective of family members, between 52 Oregonians who received lethal prescriptions, 34 who requested but did not receive lethal prescriptions, and 63 who did not pursue PAD.

Design: Cross-sectional survey.

Measurements: Family members retrospectively rated the dying experience of their loved one with the 33 item Quality of Death and Dying Questionnaire (QODD).

Click on the "via" link for the rest of the article.

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******************************************************

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

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Monday, March 21, 2011

Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories

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Faith Friends by Nancy Haygood, Hospice Poems, Stories of Death and Dignity:"I don't want to say goodbye
Don't want you to see me cry
But in the end, that sweet by and by
We will meet again."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/faith

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Tribute to a Hospice Nurse by E.V. Stankowski, RN, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"When it comes to death and dying
There's a special gift you share
One that Angels all admire
One that goes beyond just care

http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/hn

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A Trip To The Supermarket, Inspiration Poems, Touching Stories:"I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn't hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 37 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories."
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/inspiration/a.trip.to.the.supermarket.htm

Inspirational Categories: Affection, Caring, Friendship, Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us, Bereavement, Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Love, Marriage, Matrimony, Loving Partners

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Always Say I Love You, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"Brittney loved basketball Friends and parties too And when it came to painting That's all she wanted to do."
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/inspiration/always_say_i_love_you.htm

Inspirational Categories: Affection, Caring, Friendship, Babies, Children, Infants, Kids, Bereavement, Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Living Life To The Fullest, Love, Caring, Self Esteem, Self Worth, Parents & Parenting

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Angels of Mercy, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"Sorry if we woke you in the middle of the night But someone in your neighborhood is fighting for his life. Sorry if we block the road and make you turn around, But there's been a bad wreck with dying children on the ground."
http://www.4nursing.com/inspirational-poems-touching-stories-angels-of-mercy.html

Inspirational Categories: Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Emergency Medical Services (EMS)

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Beatitudes For Aging, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"Blessed are they who understand My faltering steps and palsied hand. Blessed are they who know my ears today must strain to catch the words they say."
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/inspiration/beatitudes.for.aging.htm

Inspirational Categories: Affection, Caring, Friendship, Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us, Parents & Parenting Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Living Life To The Fullest, Love, Caring, Self Esteem, Self Worth

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Butterfly Courage, by David L. Kuzminski:"Walking down a path through some woods in Georgia in 1977, I saw a water puddle ahead on the path. I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn't covered by water and mud. As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked!"
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/courage

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Death Is Nothing At All, Poems About Death & Dying, Loss:"Death is nothing at all...
I have only slipped away to the next room...
I am I and you are you...
Whatever we were to each, that we are still."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nothing

Inspirational Categories: Bereavement, Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Living Life To The Fullest

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Do Not Stand At My Grave, Inspirational Poems About Death & Dying:"Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow; I am the diamond glints on the snow."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grave

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Earthbound Angel, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"Occasionally, we are graced with the presence of an earth bound Angel. They are unable to stay with us for long, but while they do, they bring unprecedented joy and happiness to all they touch."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/earthbound

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Gone From My Sight, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/sight

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Hummingbird Man, The by Nancy Haygood, Hospice Poems, Stories of Death and Dignity:"He shows me tomatoes – red cherries, neatly hoed,
He naps in the sun, soaks up heat, sky aglow.
"Meet my new pup," proudly, "she's for squirreling."
His pain burns deep, he hides it, buried, gnawing."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/hummingbird

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I Found Jesus There, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed; the boy's parents sat across from him. "Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I'll open up your heart..." "You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/there

Inspirational Categories: Affection, Caring, Friendship, Babies, Children, Infants, Kids, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Parents & Parenting, Religious Poems, Christian Stories

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If It Should Be, Animal Poems, Pet Stories:"If it be I grow frail and weak, And pain should wake me from my sleep, then you must do what must be done, for this last battle can't be won."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/be

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If Roses Grew In Heaven, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"If roses grow in Heaven, Lord please pick a bunch for me, Place them in my daughters arms and tell her they're from me."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/roses

Inspirational Categories: Babies, Children, Infants, Kids, Bereavement, Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Motherhood, Mothering, Moms, Parents & Parenting, Prayers, Requests, Praying, Religious Poems, Christian Stories

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If There Were No Tomorrow..., Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"I would tell you today
That you are the one that fills my life,
Whose smile I cannot wait to see,
Whose arms I long to have wrapped around me,
Whose lips I live to kiss,
Softly, passionately, in every way."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/were

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Inheritance, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"There is a lovely story told about a famous art collector who learned that his son had been killed in the war, killed saving the life of another soldier. Some time past and the soldier who survived and who himself was an amateur painter, gave the art collector a simple portrait he'd sketched of his son. It was nothing like a masterpiece but it became very special to the man in his loneliness."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/inheritance

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Life Still Has A Meaning, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"If there is a future there is time for mending- Time to see your troubles coming to an ending."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/meaning

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Men Do Cry, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"I heard quite often "men don't cry" though no one ever told me why So when I fell and skinned a knee, no one came by to comfort me."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/men

Inspirational Categories: Babies, Children, Infants, Kids, Bereavement, Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Parents & Parenting

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My Brother Has Fallen, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"My Brother has fallen; no, I don't know his name. Have not the same parents still family all the same. He lives in this town, I live in another, It doesn't really matter 'cause this man is my Brother."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/fallen

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My First Christmas In Heaven, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"I see the countless Christmas Trees around the world below, with tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow. The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear, for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/my

Inspirational Categories: Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us, Babies, Children, Infants, Kids, Bereavement, Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Holiday Thoughts, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Etc., Living Life To The Fullest, Love, Caring, Self Esteem, Self Worth, Religious Poems, Christian Stories

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Nothing Is More Important Than Relationships:"I sat next to the bed of old man, a friend for over twenty years, and held his hand. Hal was dying. We both knew these next few days would be his last. We spent time reminiscing about his long and fruitful career as a church pastor. We talked about old friends. We chatted about his family. And I listened as he offered sage wisdom and advice to a member of a "younger generation."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/relationships

Categories: Affection, Caring, Friendship, Bereavement, Grief, Sadness, Sorrow, Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems, Living Life To The Fullest, Love, Caring, Self Esteem, Self Worth, Religious Poems, Christian Stories

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Old Man and His Dog,The, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories:"An old man and his dog were walking along a country road, enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to the man that he had died. He remembered dying, and realized, too, that the dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road would lead them, and continued onward."
http://www.4nursing.com/inspiration-the-old-man-and-his-dog.html

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

How to Say Goodbye | Saying Goodbye to a Dying Loved One | Caring.com

Here, those who've been through the experience of saying good-bye share what felt right to them -- and what they wish they'd done differently.

Lesson #1: Don't wait until the last minute

It's hard to say good-bye, but putting off meaningful conversations is perhaps the number-one source of regret. Time and again, families ask Massachusetts hospice nurse Maggie Callanan to tell them exactly when the final hour is approaching, so that they can time their good-byes. This is dangerous, she says, because it's impossible to predict the final breath. "Dying people have the uncanny ability to choose the moment of death, and it's not uncommon for them to spare those they love the most or feel protective of by waiting until those people leave the room," says the author of Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life, who has witnessed more than 2,000 deaths.

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Andrew Lopez, RN
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38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
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Sunday, March 13, 2011

Anticipatory Grief | Alzheimer's, Dementia & the Stages of Grieving

anticipatory_grief_and_alzheimers
What is anticipatory grief?

Anticipatory grief is the emotional pain of losing a loved one, felt in advance of the person's death. It's a common phenomenon among those who care for the terminally ill.

It may be experienced at any time by any one connected to someone with Alzheimer's, but it's especially common at the middle and late stages of the disease.

Why Alzheimer's caregivers are vulnerable to anticipatory grief

Good-byes are always painful, and Alzheimer's is the ultimate "long good-bye." Anticipatory grief is rampant, and perhaps inevitable, among Alzheimer's caregivers because of the slow, progressive, and incurable nature of the disease. University of Indianapolis researchers asked more than 400 caregivers the open-ended question, "What would you say is the biggest barrier you have faced as a caregiver?" The majority -- more than 80 percent -- referred to the loss of the person they used to know.

The friends and family of someone with dementia experience two difficult psychological states at once:

  • Anticipatory grief, coping with the very real feelings of loss for someone who is still alive
  • Ambiguous loss, interacting with someone who's not fully present socially or psychologically

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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Dying is final, but passing on lives forever

by Greg Smith, MD

It is hard to believe that those we love will die.

We can’t bear it. It’s too harsh, too complicated, too fraught with emotional baggage and unfinished business and things never said. It’s too final. Dead is dead, after all. From the moment of our birth, we are dying. Death can be painful, tragic, too soon, too quick, too slow, too easy, or too hard.

So we soften it up a bit.

She is dying, the doctors tell us.

She is passing on, we tell ourselves.

Dying implies finality and the end of the road. We cannot cheat death.

Passing on implies going through, transitioning, skirting the physics and the metaphysics involved and coming out on the other side, changed somehow, better, calmer, whole. Keeping company with the better angels of our nature while shedding the demons like a skin.

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Andrew Lopez, RN
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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Helping patients experience death, PhillyBurbs.com:  

A handful of local hospitals recently started volunteer programs that train ordinary people to sit with those who are alone and dying.

Angelo DeLorenzo spends many nights watching people as they die.

Occasionally, the person wants to talk, sometimes through the night. Often, the patient is unconscious, but DeLorenzo reads to him or her, plays the harp or sits quietly and prays.

Everyone deserves a good death, DeLorenzo believes. No one should die without someone there to hold a hand, whisper reassuring words and make sure the person is comfortable.

So DeLorenzo stays with these dying patients at St. Mary Medical Center, where he frequently takes the overnight shift. The Middletown hospital is one of a handful in the area that have started end-of-life programs, where ordinary people such as DeLorenzo, a chaplain intern, are trained to provide comfort care for people who have no close family available.

"No One Dies Alone" - the name of the program at St. Mary - originated at an Oregon hospital in 2001. It has since spread around the world. More than 1,100 hospitals and hospices have requested copies of the program's manual, said Carleen McCornack, coordinator of the mission center of Sacred Heart Medical Center in Eugene, where the program started.

These types of programs will go along way towards easing patients and family members into accepting the death of a loved one.

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