"If something is bothering the boss, you've got to find out what it is," she says. "That's why it's so important that you ask questions, trying to narrow down exactly what is the problem. Don't let the boss talk about past issues because there's nothing you can do about that. Keep him focused on what must be done in the future."
Rosenberg, author of From Rage to Resolution, (iUniverse, $23.95), offers more tips when dealing with criticism at work:
• Control your body language. Don't clench your teeth or fists or cross your arms while listening. Try to sit next to the boss if he's offering feedback such as in a performance review. This sets a more friendly, equitable tone.
• Don't become defensive. Justifying yourself is a waste of time, as is trying to blame someone else.
• Focus on the problem. When the speaker is done, ask questions and then rephrase the issue: "As I understand it, you are concerned about (this problem) and you would like me to (state solution). Is that correct?"
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