Wednesday, March 21, 2007

McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician (EMT, EMS) Jokes, Paramedic Humor

Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise.

In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene.

Approximately 98% of physicians volunteering assistance are intoxicated, don't really want to volunteer in the first place, but are afraid of looking bad in front of their spouses and friends, who naturally expect them to offer assistance.

In light of rule No.3, invite them to help in some harmless but important-seeming activity. Run an ECG strip and ask them to "interpret" it, or hand them a spare stethoscope and ask them to "assess breath sounds ". Give them a face-saving way out.

If the physician is really starting to annoy you or interferes with treatment protocols, advise him/her that they must accompany the patient to the receiving hospital, in the ambulance. Allow them to advise their family and friends to which hospital the ambulance is going to. Then enroute (code 3 ) (10-30) change your destination.


More Paramedic, First Responder, Ambulance Humor,

The 10 (+) Rules Of EMS, First Responder Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Skin signs tell all. 2. Sick people don't bitch. 3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing."


Top Ten Lies Told by Paramedics, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Its not my fault, he kept moving. 2. This might stick a little."


Top Ten Uses for Activated Charcoal, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"10. Give 50mg PO to your overdose patient and watch them add a new Holstein motif to your truck. 9. Use as dress up makeup for Cinco de Mayo."


Wishing For Smarts, Nursing Jokes, EMS Humor:"Three nurses are walking along the beach when they find an old lamp. One of the nurses rubs the lamp and out pops a genie! "For freeing me, I'll give each of you one wish," announces the genie."



See Also:

Cranky Chick: EMS Archives:"I once worked a night shift with a paramedic who, when referencing the mapbook to navigate our ambulance to an emergency, began striking himself in the head with the book when he became overcome with the stress of having to tell me how to get to our call. These are heavy, THICK notebooks with pages and pages of maps representing every corner of the county inside. Over and over, he kept striking himself in the forehead with the book, chastising himself with, "Think, damnit! Think!"

******************************************************, EMS Humor and Other Fun Stuff:"Life's tragedies can best be handled if we stop and laugh every now and then. But not everyone enjoys the same type of humor, so be careful what you laugh about in mixed company!"




Andrew Lopez, RN
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