Texas: No more mandatory overtime for nurses

Sept 2, 2009, Texas:"No more mandatory overtime for nurses:"Hospitals in Texas can no longer require registered nurses and licensed vocational nurses to work mandatory overtime. The law, which went into effect Tuesday, makes Texas the 15th state to prohibit the practice of forcing nurses to work longer than their scheduled shifts. “It's very, very important for patient safety,” said Fernando Losada, state director of the National Nurses Organizing Committee Texas in Austin. The group is part of the California Nurses Association, a union which lobbied legislators for the law." http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/business/sixel/6600043.html

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Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
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Best Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk, On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor

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Best Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk, On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/employment
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25. “Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!”

24. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”

23. “This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!”

22. “You don’t discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, DO YOU?!?”

21. “Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.”

20. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

19. “Oh, Hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.”

18. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”

17. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper”

16. “I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”

15. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”

14. “I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance”

13. “I’m doing the “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan” (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.”

12. “It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”

11. “This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress.”

10. “Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!”

9. “I was working smarter-not harder.”

8. “Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

7. “I’m in the management training program.”

6. “The coffee machine is broken….”

5. “Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.”

4. “Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”

3. “Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”

2. “It’s okay… I’m still billing the client.”

And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:

1. “…and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!”

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The Aspirin And The Job Interview, Medical Jokes, On The Job Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/interview

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Blonde Coffee, Blonde Jokes, On The Job Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/bc

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Christmas Party Blow-Out, Marriage Jokes, Employment Humor:"After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/party

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Common Forms of Office Illness, On The Job Jokes, Medical Humor,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/illnesses

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Differences Between You And The Boss, Employment Jokes, On The Job Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/boss

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Dressing Up, On The Job Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"There was this rich woman who lives in a large mansion. One day she comes upon the butler and says "butler take off my blouse"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dressing

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Funny Signs, On the Job Jokes, Employment Humor:"Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents? Beauty Shop: Dye now!Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/signs

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My Prayer For Today, On The Job, Employment Humor:"Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am PST God help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/my

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Policy Making, On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/policy

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Ten "If's" You Need To Know To Get Along At Work, On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor:"1. If it rings, put it on hold. 2. If it clunks, call the repairman." http://www.nursinghumor.com/ifs

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Wrong Answer, On The Job Jokes, Nursing Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/answer

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
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http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor

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It's A Very Simple Operation, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical
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A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.

A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

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A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/work

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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play

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Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye

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Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/going

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He Thinks He's A Surgeon, Medical Jokes, Pearly Gates Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.he.thinks.he.is.a.surgeon.htm

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Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible

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Making It Look Easy, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor.
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/making.it.look.easy.htm

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Nuns Are Not Spinsters, Religious Jokes, Operating Room Humor:"A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/spinsters

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Pre-op Examination, Operating Room, OR Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pre

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The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/size

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Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear When Regaining Consciousness, Medical Jokes, Operating Room Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/regaining

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Who Makes the Best Patient?
http://www.nursinghumor.com/best/

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
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http://www.nursinghumor.com
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http://www.nursingexperts.com

The Nails and the Fence, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories

To subscribe, send a blank email to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com

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The Nails and the Fence, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care.

By: Audrey Wittrup

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Choose more poems, inspirational stories by category:

Nursing Stories, Nurse Tales, Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nursing

A to Z Inspirational Stories List
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/alpha

Affection, Caring, Friendship
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/affection

Ambition, Determination, Persistence, Resiliency
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/ambition

Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/angels

Animals, Pets, God's Creatures
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/animals

Children, Babies, Infants, Kids
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/children

Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/death

Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Sorrow
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grief

Virtues, Dependability, Honesty, Reliability
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/virtues

More categories, http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

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http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Creating the Image of Success for the Nurse Entrepreneur?

Creating the Image of Success for the Nurse Entrepreneur?:"As decentralization and vertical integration strategies are implemented in health-care organizations, an opportunity exists for professional nurses to be involved in entrepreneurship (Swansberg & Swansburg, 1999). With the current and projected shortage of professional nurses, health-care agencies often find it advantageous to contact nurse entrepreneurs for a variety of professional services. However, for the nurse entrepreneur to take advantage of these opportunities, an essential element of success and professional image must be developed."
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com/image/

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Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

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http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

What Does She Look Like? Geriatrics Jokes, Marriage Humor

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What Does She Look Like? Geriatrics Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/geriatrics
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Two old guys are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?" The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?" To which the first old guy says, "Don't remember, let's look for yours." ******************************************************

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A Woman's Random Thoughts, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/random

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Airplane Ride, Marriage Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/airplane

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Brand New Hat, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:"There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hat

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Coffee and Viagra, Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/cv/

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Concerns For Baby Boomers, Geriatrics Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/concerns

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Croak Like a Frog, Children's Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/croak

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Curse Removal, Elderly Jokes, Marriage/Matrimony Humor:"An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/removal

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Expensive Perfume, Geriatric Jokes, Fashion Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/perfume

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Getting A Bit Forgetful, Senior Citizens Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/geriatrics.senior.citizen.humor.getting.a.bit.forgetful.htm

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She's In A Romantic Mood, Getting Older Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/romantic

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Success At Any Age, Getting Older Jokes, Geriatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/success

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Taking Notes, Doctor Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/notes

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Three Times A Week, Doctors Jokes, Marriage Humor:"

An elderly woman went to the doctor for a check up. After examining her and checking her cardiovascular activity, the doctor recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/three

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Trying To Help, Bar Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/trying

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What She Has, Getting Older Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/has/

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The Perks of Being Over Fifty, Getting Older Jokes, Geriatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/perks

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Rusty Tools, Viagra Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/rusty

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Taking Turns, Dental Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/taking

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Truisms, Sign of The Times Jokes, Getting Older Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/geriatrics.senior.citizen.humor.truisms.htm

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Getting Older, Senior Citizen Jokes, Geriatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/geriatrics.senior.citizen.humor.getting.older.htm

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The Memory Clinic, Geriatric Jokes, Marriage Humor:"Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/memory

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Top Signs That You Are Growing Old, Aging Jokes & Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/growing.old.htm

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Trying Viagra, Medical Jokes, Geriatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/trying

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The Spare Set, Dental Jokes, Gallows Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/dental.humor.dentist.jokes.the.spare.set.htm

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Ain't Senile Yet, Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/geriatrics.senior.citizen.humor.aint.senile.yet.htm

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Truisms, Sign of The Times Jokes, Getting Older Humor:"It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature. All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/truisms

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Shooting Blanks, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.shooting.blanks.htm

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Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf

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Wedding Registry, Pharmacy Jokes, Senior Citizen Humor:"Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drug store. Jacob suggests they go in."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/registry

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When The Baby Cries, Infertility Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:"With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year old woman has a baby.
All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65-year old mother says, "not yet."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/cries

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Nursing Home Humor, Old Men:
http://storypalace.ourfamily.com/j98904.html

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Senior Citizens:
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q2/dolive.html

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Tough Rules:
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/90q2/fart.html

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---

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
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http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

21 Things To Remember, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories

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21 Things To Remember, Inspirational Poems, Touching Stories
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. He or she who laughs......lasts.

16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.

18. Life is what's coming....not what was.

19. Success is getting up one more time.

20. Now is the most interesting time of all.

21. When things go wrong.....don't go with the flow.

Author Unknown

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Choose more poems, inspirational stories by category:

Nursing Stories, Nurse Tales, Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/nursing

A to Z Inspirational Stories List
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/alpha

Affection, Caring, Friendship
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/affection

Ambition, Determination, Persistence, Resiliency
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/ambition

Angels In Our Lives, Watching Over Us
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/angels

Animals, Pets, God's Creatures
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/animals

Children, Babies, Infants, Kids
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/children

Death, Dying, End of Life, Hospice Poems
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/death

Grief, Bereavement, Loss, Sorrow
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/grief

Virtues, Dependability, Honesty, Reliability
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com/virtues

More categories, http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
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http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

Cathy DeLave, RN, BSN, CPR Plus, Michigan Nursing Entrepreneurs, Nurse-Owned Businesses

Cathy DeLave, RN, BSN, CPR Plus, Michigan Nursing Entrepreneurs, Nurse-Owned Businesses::"Nurse owned and operated provider of emergency response training including CPR/AED, First Aid and Bloodborne Pathogens. We are an authorized distributor of Philips Headstart Defibrillators. Honored as a "Preferred Trainer" for the American Heart Association, all of our instructors are Registered Nurses. We offer full service sales and tranining, as well as assistance with emergency response planning and implementation. All classes can be customized to meet the needs of our clients. Courses can be taught in our classroom or onsite at a home or workplace."
2794 Red Fox Trail Dr.
Troy, Michigan (MI) 48098

E-mail Address: cdelave@cprplus.net
Homepage: http://www.cprplus.net
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com/delave

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Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

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http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

New Addition, Uniform City

New Addition to: http://www.4nursinguniforms.com

Uniform City:"Uniform City, headquartered in Tampa, Florida, has been providing uniforms to medical and hospitality professionals for over 40 years. Our experienced staff understands and listens to our customers. We offer the largest selection of name brand uniforms, shoes and accessories in a variety of styles. All at discount prices."
Northlake Festival Mall
Suite 101
3983 La Vista Rd.
Tucker, Georgia 30084
(678) 937-0811
http://www.uniformcity.com

Category: Nursing Uniforms, Scrubs, http://www.4nursinguniforms.com

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Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL/Skype/Twitter-nursefriendly
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com

You Might Be A Nurse Midwife If .., Labor Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor

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You Might Be A Nurse Midwife If ..., Labor Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/midwife
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You Might Be A Nurse Midwife If . . . .

If you use more super glue on women's bottoms than your broken china.......you might be a midwife

If you've ever crocheted with an amni hook.......you might be a midwife

If you carry more tanks in you car than a Jacque Cousteau documentary.......you might be a midwife

If you hear "doppler" radar on the Weather Channel and your ears perk up.......you might be a midwife

If you've recommended Castor Oil more times that the local Quick Lube.......you might be a midwife

If your idea of "seeing the head coming" doesn't refer to your beer.......you might be a midwife

If it takes a hour to get dressed to go out yet 45 seconds to get dressed in the middle of the night.......you might be a midwife

If you talk about seeing the "crown" and you weren't at Buckingham Palace.......you might be a midwife

If you've had your picture taken so many times with babies you should be running for office.......you might be a midwife

If there are more ways to reach you than the local fire department.......you might be a midwife

If you can actually name more than three African drum bands.......you might be a midwife

If you know that "post partum" doesn't mean your fence is coming apart.......you might be a midwife

If you've ever been called by a neighbor with a farm animal in labor.......you might be a midwife

If the color of you car is unrecognizable because of all the bumperstickers.......you might be a midwife

If you refuse to sell you junky run down car because you'll lose your bumperstickers.......you might be a midwife

If you think c-section should only be the cheap seats at a ballgame.......you might be a midwife


If you know that a fetoscope does not measure shoe size.......you might be a midwife


If the 36,000 mile/3 year warranty on your brand new car actually means less than one year.......you might be a midwife


If your tires are going bald faster than your husband.......you might be a midwife


If you think the only use for forceps is as salad tongs.......you might be a midwife


If you've made more great catches than Chipper Jones.......you might be a midwife


If you know that a lie is not where your golf ball lands.......you might be a midwife


If you think that a "tail back" is a new kind of birthing position.......you might be a midwife


If you know a cesarean is not a salad.......you might be a midwife


If your idea of a vacation is taking a car ride outside your beeper range........you might be a midwife


If you know that a pinard horn is not a musical instrument.......you might be a midwife


If you think the only way to measure centimeters is by spreading your fingers.......you might be a midwife


If you get more calls from ladies with broken water than the local plumber.......you might be a midwife


If you've ever ran out of gas and used a breast pump and catheter as a siphon.......you might be a midwife


If you've ever used cord clamps as hair curlers........you might be a midwife


If you've ever used a speculum to put on a tight pair of shoes.......you might be a midwife


If you can eat cherry jello while watching a birth film........you might be a midwife


If you talk about yeast infections like they're dairy products........you might be a midwife


If you've ever put on a latex glove to remove the stuffing from a turkey.......you might be a midwife


If you have more hemostats in you glove box than a Grateful Dead fan.......you might be a midwife


If you think Deliverance is a childbirth movie........you might be a midwife


If you refer to your beeper as "my home phone".........you might be a midwife


If you discuss adhesions with your family at the dinner table........you might be a midwife


If you know that perineal support is not a kind of stocking.......you might be a midwife


If you consider a pair of black Birkenstocks "formal wear".......you might be a midwife


If your realize that "breeches" are not a southern man's trousers........you might be a midwife


If you know that ultrasound is not a fancy stereo........you might be a midwife


If you've ever stopped on your way to a birth and someone has looked in your car and asked "Are you Moving?"........you might be a midwife


If you've ever gotten out of a speeding ticket by actually showing the state trooper a placenta........you might be a midwife


If you thought the movie "Catch-22" was a story about a month in a very busy midwife's life........you might be a midwife


If your idea of a color coordinated birthing outfit is matching the blood stains on your sweat shirt with the blood stains on your sweat pants........you might be a midwife

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Five Minutes

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

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Stern Sibling, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Sibling Humor:"An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/stern

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Quick Pregnancy and Birth - F.A.Q. - (PART 2), Labor & Delivery Jokes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/faq

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Pregnancy and Birth - F.A.Q. - (PART 1), Labor & Delivery Jokes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/birth

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Sum Ting Wong, Pregnancy Jokes, Labor & Delivery Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/wong

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My Baby Has A First Name, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/name

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Bringing Home A Second Wife, Marriage Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/second

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Expecting Twins, Blonde Jokes, Pregnancy Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/twins

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Pregnancy Dictionary, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dictionary

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A Grandmother's Insomnia, Doctor's Jokes, Pregnancy & Medications Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insomnia

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You're Not Sterile! Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/sterile

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How Much Will It Hurt, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Obstetrics & Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hurt

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Baby Names, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/baby

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Sharing The Pain of Childbirth, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/sharing

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Four Expectant Fathers, Pregnancy Jokes, Labor & Delivery, Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fathers

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If Men Got Pregnant, Battle Of The Sexes Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pregnant

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Top Ten Fatal Things to say when your wife is pregnant, Labor & Delivery Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/fatal

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Lamaze Class:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lamaze

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It Can't Be Mine! Labor & Delivery Jokes, Paternity Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/mine

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Breastfeeding Technical Support, Medical Jokes, Obstetrics Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/breastfeeding

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Breastfeeding Humor and Nursing Tales:
http://www.breastfeeding.com/lighter.html

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Extremely Discreet Nursing:
http://www.breastfeeding.com/lighter_side/lighter_side_stories_discreet.html

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Top 5 List of Things NOT To Say To Your Pregnant Wife After Her Ultrasound:
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/93q3/ultrasound.html

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It Ain't All Playing Golf . . .
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q1/scis.170.html

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See also: Cocaine, Substance Abuse & Drug Addiction Links, Infertility, Contraception & Fertilization, Labor and Delivery, Obstetrics Jokes, Humor Links, Labor-Delivery-Obstetric Nursing, Miscarriages, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) Nurses, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) Management Nursing Jobs, Obstetric Nurses, Obstetrics Staff Nursing Jobs, Pregnancy Nurse Entrepreneurs, Premature Infants, Low Birth Weight Babies

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Follow us on Twitter! http://twitter.com/nursefriendly

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Sincerely,

Andrew Lopez, RN
Nursefriendly, Inc. A New Jersey Corporation.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua New Jersey 08051
http://www.nursefriendly.com info@nursefriendly.com ICQ #6116137, AOL "nursefriendly"
856-415-9617, (fax) 415-9618

150,000 + Nurse-Reviewed & Approved Nursing Links

http://www.4nursing.com
http://www.4studentnurses.com
http://www.4travelnursing.com
http://www.lopez1.com
http://www.nursinga2z.com
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com
http://www.nursinghumor.com
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com
http://www.nursingexperts.com