Nursefriendly.com: nursing humor

Showing posts with label nursing humor. Show all posts

Monday, June 20, 2011

Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor

10. I love to wear white support hose.
9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors.
8. It's more challenging than brain surgery.
7. I get free latex gloves.
6. The scrubs are so flattering to my figure.
5. The world doesn't need any more lawyers.
4. I actually like vending machine food.
3. Somebody has to train the residents.
2. I get to spend the holidays with my friends... at work.
1. I always wanted to say, "This won't hurt a bit."
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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor

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To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
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10. The man who snuck in three cats to visit his asthmatic mother.
9. The visitor who ate all his father's food, then rang the nurse to say that the patient was still hungry and needed another tray.
8. The wife who asked you to take her stroked-out husband to the bathroom whenever SHE really was the one who had to go.
7. The son who emptied his mother's colostomy bag into the wastebasket.
6. The husband who fell asleep in the patient's bed while his wife was in the bathroom.
5. The wife who discontinued her husband's central line herself, because “John likes to sleep on his right side.”
4. The 80 year-old daughter of the 98 year old man, who kept turning off her father's continuous gastric feeding because, "He never eats this much a home."
3. The children of one patient who insisted upon using their mother's portable IPPB machine as a scooter in the hallway.
2. The husband who kept sneaking in chocolates for his newly diagnosed diabetic wife.
1. The man who never actually visited his mother, but called twelve times every shift to criticize the nurses, the doctors, the food, and anything else that came to mind.
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Five Minutes
A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."
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Peek-A-Boo
The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.
She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."
(Please note, this is in fact an urban legend as verified by "snopes.com" we'll keep it here for clarification anyhow.)
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Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
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A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical
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A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick
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How Nurses Do It, Nursing Jokes, Occupation Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/
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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/went
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Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/play
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Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/
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Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/
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HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues
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Medical Office Bartering, Nursing Cartoons, Medical Comics, Doctor Jokes:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/bartering/
Categories: Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/bedside/
Doctor Jokes, Medical, Patient, Hospital Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/
HMO Jokes, Health Maintenance Organization Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/hmo/
Nursing Cartoons, Medical Comics, Healthcare , http://www.nursinghumor.com/cartoons/
On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor, http://www.nursinghumor.com/employment/

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New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/password
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Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance
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Practical Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Doctor Jokes
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-nursing-humor-practical-jokes.html
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Respiratory Assessments, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-respiratory-assessments.html
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Get Well Quick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-bedside-nursing-jokes-get-well-quick.html
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Top Ten Most Commonly Used Nursing Phrases:"10. "No, really, I don't mind changing the TV channel for you . . . again."
9. "I'm sorry, it's not THAT kind of Tylenol."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/phrases
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Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Top Ten Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/into
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Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend, Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/weekend
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Black Testicles, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Care Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/bedside.nursing.humor.black.testicles.htm
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The Center of Attention, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.the.center.of.attention.htm
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Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst
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Patient Guidelines And Responsibilities, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/
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Ambulances As Medical Necessities, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital..."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/ambulances
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The Foley Insertion, Foley Catheter Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insertion
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Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell
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How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/how.many.nurses.does.it.take.to.change.a.light.bulb.htm
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Multiple Specimens, Medical Jokes, Doctor & Patient Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/medical.doctor.physician.patient.jokes.multiple.specimens.htm
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The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/bedside.nursing.humor/the.ranks.of.the.hospital.htm
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Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm
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Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine
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Top Ten Reasons To Date A Nurse! Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"White scrubs are see through. We asses all areas of the body. Scrubs make for easy access."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/date
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To subscribe to our:
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Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com
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Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.
Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
http://lists.topica.com/lists/nursingjokes/
Clinical Nursing Cases:
Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com
Inspirational Stories:
Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

The Uniform Resource Locator (URL) or Internet Street Address of this page is
http://nursinghumor.com/worst

Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Friday, April 1, 2011

This Page is Part of The Nursefriendly National Nursing A To Z & Consumer Health Directories
We are Incorporated in The State of New Jersey, under the name:
Nursefriendly, Inc.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua, New Jersey (NJ) 08051
Our Phone #: 856-415-9617

This website Is © Copyright 1997 - 2011, Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly, Inc. Please contact us for permission to reproduce.

Other products and companies referred to herein are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective companies or mark holders, and are not owned or affiliated with Nursefriendly, Inc. or any of it's affiliated companies.

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Monday, April 4, 2011

10 humorous reasons I knew I was a nurse, Scrubsmag.com

The day you start nursing school your life changed permanently. There is the life ‘before nursing’ and then life as a nurse. Two very different worlds.
Here are some of the ways I knew my life had changed when I became a nurse.

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

10 reasons nurses deserve an Oscar

With the Oscars just around the corner, where the members of the entertainment world gather to pat each other on the back, it makes one wonder why nurses don’t have their very own Oscars. After all, many of these awards are handed out to actors who imitate what we do in real life.
In the spirit of recognizing the amazing talents of nurses, we roll out the red carpet here and take a look at 10 reasons why we’re Oscar-worthy.
#1: Nurses have true talent minus the diva attitude.
True talent is a gift, one that is subtle, yet always present. A nurse regularly carries out his duties with confidence, knowledge and good grace in the face of the most difficult or unexpected situations, including code browns.
#2: Nurses have The Look.
We all know nurses who have perfected the showstopping Look. It’s the look that’s thrown in the direction of a petulant attending or a whiny visitor. It can stop a tirade cold in its tracks, scare up documents that were deemed “unavailable” and can make grown men tremble in their boots. A real thriller!

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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Why Men Can't Win, Battle of The Sexes, Jokes & Humor

To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
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If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.
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Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses."
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Accessories
Nursing Carry-Ons, Medical Bags,
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Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains
Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week)
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Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches
Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures
Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones
Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers
Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts
Swimwear (Tan-Through)
Women's Lingerie
Nursing In The Media, truthaboutnursing.org

ER:"Media products under your influence, particularly the NBC/Warner drama "ER," are harming the profession of 2.7 million American nurses by giving the public an inaccurate and inadequate account of what nurses really do to save and improve lives. Research suggests that "ER" strongly and negatively influences the way children view nursing. These products contribute to the nursing shortage, a public health crisis that threatens millions worldwide."
http://www.truthaboutnursing.org/letters/er/

House, MD:"The main patient in tonight's episode of Fox's House was a nurse who believed that a cat tended to sit with those who were about to die--including, recently, the nurse herself. That may not sound like a promising vehicle for House to improve its abysmal portrayal of nursing. But the show actually presents the nurse as someone with health knowledge. And her search for meaning in faith, for some reason in tragic events, is a real counterpoint to House's cold rationality. Indeed, despite the obvious potential for mockery in the cat angle, the mighty House treats the nurse with considerable respect--he seems to care what she thinks, or at least to find her views unnerving. Of course, the nurse plays no real clinical role in the episode, and no other nurses do either. So the episode suggests, as usual, that physicians provide all important care in hospital settings, including all meaningful psychosocial and physical care. Still, any suggestion that intelligent life resides in a nurse is a welcome departure for House (and for the episode's writer Peter Blake, who also penned a November 2005 House episode that was notable for its physician glorification and its casual contempt for other health professions). Tonight's episode, "Here Kitty," drew 13.1 million U.S. viewers. more... see the relevant film clips... and please join our letter writing campaign!"
http://www.truthaboutnursing.org/letters/house/

Private Practice:"ABC's Private Practice, whose season ends tomorrow, April 30, may be the only broadcast network show with a major nurse character to return next season. In the February 5 episode (Mike Ostrowski's "Acceptance," 13 million U.S. viewers), lone nurse character Dell Parker, who is studying to be a midwife, shows some tentative clinical aptitude and knowledge to go with his boyish eagerness. Under the close supervision of OB/GYN Addison Montgomery, Dell ably performs a vacuum-assisted delivery. Later he haltingly guides the baby's parents toward breastfeeding. Dell also performs an assured solo ultrasound of pregnant psychiatrist Violet Turner, calming her panic attack and eliciting her agreement to his own suggestion that, though he's "not a doctor," he will likely become a "pretty good midwife." The show still condescends to Dell, who is also the office manager/receptionist at the LA clinic where the show is set. In the March 26 episode (Craig Turk's "Do the Right Thing," 10.1 million U.S. viewers),"
http://www.truthaboutnursing.org/letters/pp/

"Scrubs" defines nursing:""Scrubs" defines nursing: it's all about shutting up and following physician "orders. " Tonight's episode of NBC's "Scrubs," which purports to teach nurse Carla Espinosa that nursing is all about doing what physicians tell you, is one of the most virulently anti-nurse prime time television episodes the Center has ever seen. more..."
http://www.truthaboutnursing.org/news/2009/may/06_scrubs.html

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Alphabetical Nursing Topic Discussion, Chat List

Are good CNA jobs that hard to find?
Being A Male Nurse
Curtailing Workplace Gossip
Dealing With Confrontation In Nursing
Degree Vs Diploma
EKG Classes
First Year On The Floor
Horror Stories -- working short staffed
How Many Hours A Week Do You Work
Impaired Nurses
Liability Question for Experienced Nurses
LPN vs. RN vs. BSN, etc...
Male Nurses
Mandatory BSN to practice nursing being considered
Mean Age of RNs
Military Nursing
More Foreign Nurses, Is It A Plot?
Nurse Entrepreneurs
Nurses Aides, Can't Live With Them. . .
Nurses In Recovery:
Nursing & Adult ADD
Put Male Nurses In Panties
Rude Doctors
Specialty Nursing
Staff Nurses
Tattoos In The Workplace
The Nursing Shortage, Your Opinions
To Stay In Nursing or Not
Travel Nurses Talk Travel Nursing
Workplace Violence, Horizontal Violence Against Nurses
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Commonly (Frequently) Used Drugs Medication Indexes:
http://www.prescriptionforviagra.com

Ace Inhibitors (Hypertension)
AIDS/HIV Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, Human Immunodficiency Virus, Antiviral Agents
Anti Angiogenesis (Chemotherapy)
Antibiotics
Allergy Relief, Antihistamines, Decongestants, Sinus Congestion, Runny Nose, Prescription Drugs, Medications
Anti-Coagulants, Blood Thinners
Anti-depressants
Anxiety Medications
Appetite Enhancers, Appetite Stimulants, Appetite Stimulation
Antibiotics
Anticoagulants, Blood Thinners, Drug Therapy
Antiviral Agents, HIV, AIDS, Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, Human Immunodficiency Virus
Appetite Control, Obesity, Weight Loss, Diet Pills
Appetite Supressants, Diet Pills, Weight Loss, Weight Control
Barbiturates, Hypnotics, Sedatives
Benzodiazepines
Birth Control Pills, Contraception, Drug & Medication Indexes
Blood Thinners, Anticoagulants, Drug Therapy
Calcium channel blockers
Chemo, Antineoplastics, Chemotherapy, Anticancer, Oncology, Prescription Drugs, Medications
Cardiac, Coronary, Heart Drugs, Medications
Cholesterol Lowering Drugs, Anti Hyper Lipidemics, Prescription Drugs, Medications
Contraception, Birth Control Pills, Drug & Medication Indexes
Controlled Substances, Narcotic Analgesics, Opiates, Opioids,
Convulsions, Convulsants, Epilepsy, Epileptics, Seizures
Diet Pills, Weight Loss, Obesity, Appetite Control
Fluoroquinolones (Antibiotics)
Gastrointestinal, GI, Ulcers, Heartburn, GERD, Indigestion Prevention Prescription Drugs, Medications
Hair Loss, Mens Health, Impotence, Obesity, Smoking Cessation
Hypnotics, Sedatives, Barbiturates
Impotence, Hair Loss, Mens Health, Obesity, Smoking Cessation
Laxatives, Physic, Cathartics
Mens Health, Hair Loss, Impotence, Obesity, Smoking Cessation
Muscle Relaxants, Centrally Acting
Narcotic Analgesics, Controlled Substances, Opiates, Opioids,
Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatories, NSAIDS
Obesity, Weight Loss, Appetite Control, Diet Pills
Opiates, Opioids, Controlled Substances, Narcotic Analgesics
Over The Counter (OTC) Medications
Pain Killers
Sedatives, Hypnotics, Barbiturates
Skeletal Muscle Relaxants, Centrally Acting
Steroids, Anabolic, Corticosteroids, Prednisone
Smoking Cessation, Impotence, Hair Loss, Mens Health, Obesity
Respiratory (Asthma, COPD, Emphysema, Pulmonary)
Weight Gain
Weight Loss, Obesity, Appetite Control, Diet Pills
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The Uniform Resource Locator (URL) or Internet Street Address of this page is
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes/why.men.cant.win.htm

Created on December 1, 1999

Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Monday, January 25, 2010

This Page is Part of The Nursefriendly National Nursing A To Z & Consumer Health Directories
We are Incorporated in The State of New Jersey, under the name:
Nursefriendly, Inc.
38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua, New Jersey (NJ) 08051
Our Phone #: 856-415-9617

This website Is © Copyright 1997 - 2010, Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly, Inc. Please contact us for permission to reproduce.

Other products and companies referred to herein are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective companies or mark holders, and are not owned or affiliated with Nursefriendly, Inc. or any of it's affiliated companies.

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Any questions, please drop me a line.

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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Nurses’ funny hospital chart bloopers, ScrubsMag.com

Back by popular demand! We’ve been running some articles featuring charting disasters (goofy chart bloopers and crazy chart bloopers) lately and must admit…some seemed too wild to be true.

So then we asked our readers: Do you have any good ones to share?

Well, these all-new funny hospital chart bloopers were submitted by you, so they must be real!

1. “A 24-year-old woman oriented to person, space and time.”
—submitted by Liz R.

2. “Pt alive but hope to remedy situation by AM.”
—submitted by Michelle Steinbach, RN, critical care nurse for 14 years

3. “Alert and organized x3”
—submitted by Evelyn Kathleen

via scrubsmag.com

Click on the "via" link to read the rest of the article.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor

Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
"You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said.
"Go home and show her you're the boss."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/psychiatric.jokes.mental.health/firm.advice.htm

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See also: Mental Health Articles, Mental Health Law, Mental Health, Psychiatric Associations, Direct Psychiatric Patient Care, Psychiatric Nurses
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Are You Insane? Psychiatric Jokes, Mental Health Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insane
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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols
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Concerned Mother, Psychiatric Jokes, Prescription Drug Humor:"The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/concerned
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Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/advice
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Going Blind, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych
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Hung Up To Dry, Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dry
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Listening Tips, Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor:"Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/listening
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Most Difficult Psych Case, Psychiatric Jokes, Patient Humor:"Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over dinner, one asked the other, "So, tell me, what was your most difficult case?"
http://www.nursinghumor.com/case
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Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions
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Psychiatric Hotline, Mental Health Humor, Psychiatric Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hotline
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Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark
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Labels: bedside jokes, bedside nursing, bedside nursing jokes, healthcare humor, hospital jokes, Humor, Humor: Nurse Jokes, Jokes, nurse humor, nursing humor, patient care jokes, patient jokes

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